Blood or Chocolate
by Lemon Muffins
Summary: Bella is part of a very old coven of vampires that move to Forks, not knowing what dangers await them there. When the truth isn't what it seems and lies take over your heart, how does one know what's real? A "Blood and Chocolate" take on Twilight. AU, BPOV.
1. Chapter 1

**Just... remember that these are NOT Stephenie Meyer vampires. They don't sparkle in the sunlight, have special abilities, or automatically become "good" just by eating animals instead of humans.**

**This story contains sex and violence, so be forwarned, y'all.**

**This chapter is pretty much all exposition, and therefore a bit shorter than the others will be. We're simply getting into Bella's state of mind, how vampires in this AU run, part of how the Coven itself is run, a look into her everyday life, an introduction of a few of the main characters, and a beginning look into several of the sub-plots of the story. The real action will begin soon enough, loves.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight, its characters, or the book Blood and Chocolate. I simply thought that the latter would be much sexier with a Twilight spin on it ;)**

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1.**

I always despised moving and the tedious actions it entailed.

Packing. Loading the cars. Driving when running would have been much faster.

I loathed the idea of acting as less than what I was, even if it was just as a pretense for the humans around us all... They would have grown suspicious of Renee and I had showed up in the neighborhood carrying all of our belongings and furniture, after all. I understood this logically, but I still hated the very idea of it.

I wished the humans could just understand what we are, and not hate us for it. Somehow.

But they all _were_ humans, after all, and ruled entirely by their emotions instead of their instincts. They would never be able to accept that we needed to hunt them for food. Hypocrites, they were, considering the savage way their own companies brutalized and killed cattle for their consumption; at least the majority of us didn't feel the need to torture our food before we ate it.

They would never accept us, just as we would ever understand them.

It was life, and it was unfair.

"Bella, don't drag your feet! I know you can move faster than that!" Renee teased from behind me, pretending to juggle a "heavy" box in her hands as I blocked the front entryway.

"Sorry," I apologized, adjusting the box in my arms as well as if trying to get a better grip on it. Who knew if humans were looking through their curtains at us at any point in time? The small details are what made us look credible in their eyes.

I hated moving, but the Coven never stayed in the same town for more than a few years at a time to lower suspicions about how we never aged. We usually packed up before each Carnival, so that we could all participate in the celebration once we were all settled into our new home, or rather "homes" in this case.

For the first time since I'd been born into this life, the entire Coven wasn't living under the same roof, separating into small "families" to keep up pretenses. I admit to feeling a little wary being away from a central home for all of us, but it was also freeing, being able to be almost on my own, and away from some of the more annoying Coven members for a long stretch of time.

I basked in the glory of being away from the nest, just Renee and I, as we finished unloading the moving truck, a small smile on my face all the while.

A knock on the door caught me off guard, as I hadn't even heard anyone approach.

Breathing in the air, I let out a sigh, thankful I wouldn't need to put on a facade for any humans or accept any baked goods as a welcome to the neighborhood, as seemed customary in small towns such as the one we had moved into.

"Welcome, Carlisle. Jasper," I acknowledged them as I opened the door, stepping aside to let them enter.

Jasper nodded politely in reply, though Carlisle set one of his large hands on my head, smiling affectionately down upon me, gentle as he always was.

"Thank you, my dear. We just came to make sure you two were doing well with your unpacking."

"Yes, we are. We appreciate you coming to check on us," Renee replied graciously, giving a wide smile to our guests.

I worried about Carlisle sometimes, though I knew he wouldn't appreciate the sentiment if he knew. He was our leader, after all, and it wouldn't bode well if it seemed that the one ruling over the Coven was weak in any manner. There were those both within the Coven and out that would willingly take over, and Carlisle loved his people and his position enough to fight to the death with someone for it. I would never want the man who took care of me since my creation to suffer at the hands of someone else, simply because he'd betrayed his emotions too much.

Adding on the fact that he hadn't participated in the last Carnival, there were many suspicions and whispers that he was growing soft in these last years that he'd had to live without his wife. I'd never met the woman, as she'd perished before I was born into the human world, but the way he ached for her... one could only imagine how much he truly felt the loss of his mate, if he grieved so much after so many years.

Despite the pain I knew he went through, I knew what had to be done. His very Leadership would be at stake if he didn't participate once more this coming Solstice.

"Are you alright, dear? You look worried..."

I looked to Carlisle's concerned face and smiled. The man really was kind, and I'd just have to do my best to convince him of what needed to be done, though it would have to wait until we were alone, I knew. We had time. It could wait.

"I'm fine; just dreading unpacking all of the crap we've developed since the last time we moved," I told him with what I knew was a convincing pout. "No chance you two are willing to help, since you've been moved in for a month and a half?"

He smiled and Jasper let out a chuckle of his own before agreeing to assist.

Renee and I were the last of the Coven moving into Forks, the rest having spent the summer moving in small groups to lessen suspicions about all the new people relocating into the area, though some questions would probably be asked anyway, considering what a small town we had moved to; much smaller than usual, resulting in our splitting of the Coven—there simply wasn't a house on the market large enough to house all of us.

In this small house across town from the main Coven house, only Renee and I would reside. She was my mother, though she didn't give birth to my human form, nor had she given me my life anew, but after my change it made sense to pair us up together. We'd always gotten along well and had similar temperaments conducive to living in such close quarters; the physical features we shared were a plus, helping with the appearance of being family, though we'd had the time to track our ancestors and family through the years, confirming that no relation actually existed.

Just as Renee was my mother, Carlisle was Jasper's father.

They both had the same wavy blond hair, and a similar way of standing straight and tall. I knew that this rigid pose of Jasper's came from his time as an officer during the Civil War, and one could only assume that Carlisle perhaps had a similar military history somewhere in his lineage, though I didn't know for sure. It was considered impertinent to ask a vampire about their time as a human, a lower being, so what little I did know of history came only from what he'd shared with me.

I was always eager to hear more, as he was the oldest vampire I knew, perhaps one of the oldest in the world.

Soon we were done unloading all the boxes, despite the sluggish human pace we used, and all sat down in the living room as if we needed the rest from the anything-but-strenuous activity we'd done.

Then Carlisle started business. He asked us all the typical questions, making sure we knew where everything was, and what needed to be done to maintain our anonymity in such a small town, and making sure that the house itself was to our liking.

I smiled at the last one, knowing that if I asked, he'd arrange for a different house for us within the hour. He'd always taken a special interest in me, acting like a father would... indulging, spoiling, sometimes even reprimanding, though all with a smile on his face. He reminded me of the father I left behind when I joined this world, and the thought no longer pained me—that man had long since died, and Carlisle was a kind soul. I was lucky to have him dote on me as he did.

"The house is lovely, Carlisle," I told him honestly, and he nodded in acceptance, a small worry disappearing from his eyes. He'd never want me to be anywhere I was uncomfortable.

"Excellent," he replied before continuing his mandatory questions. "Being so far from the main house, I'd like for you ladies to make sure you have extra supplies stocked in your fridge at all times. One never knows when the Hunger will strike hardest, and I'd like you to be prepared. Is that alright?"

I grimaced, hating the taste of refrigerated blood, but nodded as Renee did. I understood the necessity, even if I hated the very idea of it.

"Excellent," Carlisle repeated in a distracted, and I looked at him curiously.

He met my eyes, a tight smile on his face suddenly. I glanced over to Jasper, seeing him suddenly alert, so I sat up straighter in response. Jasper knew what it was making Carlisle uncomfortable, and I wanted to know, too. Just because he'd recently taken on the title of Second in Command from the Elders of the Coven didn't mean that he should know things about Carlilse that I didn't. I didn't care if he was in unofficial training, preparing to take over the day that Carlisle's position was open. That wouldn't be a long time form now if I had any say in the matter.

"Now to the meat of the matter, then?" Carlisle asked, though he didn't wait for a reply from anyone before taking a deep, unnecessary breath. I took one as well, glad that I would find out the problem, even if I wasn't the first one to know.

"There are... people in the area that we all need to be made aware of," he aid after only a brief pause. "A local Native American tribe still holds true to their traditions and superstitions, and they have firm beliefs in vampires, or Cold Ones as they call them."

I let out a gust of air. I'd expected much worse. All that needed to be done was to stay away from them and their land. Not so hard to do, really.

"I'm making it known that contact with them is forbidden, as is entrance to their land for the safety of the Coven at large. Is this understood?" he asked in his deep, authoritative voice, one that even I could never argue with. A direct order from the Leader of the coven _had_ to be followed, or one's life was could be forfeit.

Renee and I nodded obediently. We most definitely understood, and had no reason or need to associate with the tribe in the first place. Even if such a need arose, it could never trump the need for survival of our Coven. We all were each other's everything, with few exceptions.

Carlisle look satisfied at our stoney expressions, and he and Jasper left after a few more words to lighten the atmosphere.

He truly was a great Leader. No matter if people thought he was growing weak through the years, he still resonated with authority and knew what it took to lead, when to indulge and when to lay down boundaries. He would never want to exterminate me for disobeying his orders, but the look in his eyes when he laid down the forbidden law showed me that he would _always_ do what he had to to support his Coven.

It was why he had been bestowed with the Leadership for so long, after all.

He'd absolutely loathe hurting one of his own clan, but he'd do it if he had to to protect the rest. That was what made a Leader, and nobody would ever be better than Carlisle at such a thing. I could never support the Lead of anyone other than him.

The feeling he gave out to me was _anything_ but weakness. It was resolve.

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0

James was designated with the job of driving all the young looking vampires to Forks High once the new school year began in late August. I didn't mind because I didn't have a car of my own anymore—my last one ended up wrapped around a tree and I hadn't felt a desire to replace it just yet. Thankfully, vampires were more sturdy than humans, and I walked out of the incident just fine, never planning on drinking from an intoxicated human and driving again after such.

The weather in this part of the country would have made it seem strange for me to walk to school as it was; I didn't mind the cold or wet, but humans often did, and James was as good a driver as any of us. It made no difference to me how I was transported to the ending location.

He arrived at our home a couple minutes before our first class was scheduled to start as was expected from him. James always did like to make a dramatic entrance wherever possible, even in such a lowly place as a new high school. Our arrival was delayed even further by his need to pick up Emmett and Garrett on the way to school as well.

Once we finally got there we stepped out of the car, blinking in the dim morning sun before collectively putting on our sunglasses.

Vampire lore had always been a source of amusement in our Coven, and it was very helpful in hiding our true existence from the silly humans. Sunlight, for example, was said to turn vampires to dust if it touched upon our skin. Obviously that wasn't the case with us, though such a falsehood let us lead a normal life among the mortals without as much suspicion cast upon us.

The truth of the matter is just that vampire senses are roughly seven thousand, six-hundred and eighty-two times more fully developed than the senses of humans who, ironically enough, have trouble looking directly into the sun as well. It would make sense for a vampire, whose vision is so much better, would be uncomfortable in the sun, would it not? The same would apply for that silly legend about garlic repelling us; a clove of such is potent enough to make most humans do a double take, so of course it would displease our senses to smell it!

'Tis the logic of being a vampire.

We also never slept in coffins. At least none of my Coven did, though I can't say that all vampires followed our lead; there have always been dramatic vampires, after all, and I wouldn't have been surprised to see one adorning certain bedchambers in our dark world. I personally had a large, soft bed in my room for me to relax on, though I didn't use it to rest in slumberland. As vampires, we no longer held the ability to sleep, which would explain why so many of us had no dreams either.

As for crosses, I'd never seen one that could do me harm and the same went for Holy Water. We were not creatures of the devil, but merely beings of the night.

A wooden stake would not kill one of my kind. It _might_ leave a vampire temporarily paralyzed, but that wouldn't be caused by some sort of magical quality of the wood. A stake made from any material would have the same effect as long as it pierced through the heart, halting our flow of blood—the one thing that kept our bodies animated and moving after our death.

In order to kill my kind, one would have to actually shred our bodies and probably also burn the pieces. Not many are fast enough to sneak up on us with a stake or a match to light us on fire, and even less are strong enough to thrust a stake in or rip us apart. We did not fear death easily.

I sighed. Even with all of these defenses built into our very beings, it wasn't as if _vampire_ was the first thing people guessed if any of us acted a little off. It was the reason our species survived so long... Nobody believed in us anymore.

Well, except for maybe those locals that Carlisle had mentioned.

I walked into my first class, glancing around to see if an of the faces looked the least bit suspicious or curious, but who was I kidding? This was an extremely small town we'd moved to, so of course everyone would be interested in the barrage of new students who had settled into their town over the summer.

I got stares all period long, and once it ended I was surrounded almost immediately.

A child named Mike introduced himself to me, seeming to expect me to appreciate his attention. Another told me his name was Eric, and offered to show me to my next class like a good little puppy. A boy named Tyler make himself known, leering at me in the most ineffective way.

I ignored them all, and rolled my eyes at the frizzy haired girl who called herself Jessica when she tried to steal my attention and invite me to sit at her table when lunch rolled around. I declined her invitation, of course, in what was probably too rude of a manner. Not only did I not want to sit next to her for an extended period of time, but I also couldn't afford to have someone pay too close attention to my eating habits. I'd sit my kind.

They all looked offended as I brushed each and ever one of them off, heading to my next class, and I simply held my head high. I didn't care for their opinions.

I simply just tried to survive the humdrum of my first full day as a student in over a decade, and tried not to act like I'd already learned everything on the syllabus before. I knew that several of us had to go to school in each new town to keep up appearances and I truly didn't mind it all that much, considering what the alternative would have been.

I'd hate to have to spend my days hanging around the main house with some of our kind... like... I don't know—Edward Cullen. That was a vampire who held absolutely _none_ of my interest whatsoever.

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**Give me your thoughts, questions, and comments, my loves. I look forward to it :D**

**Much Love,**

**MuffN  
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	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter explores the past, a bit, and why she wishes to have nothing to do with our favorite vampire, lol. Well, Bella's side of the past, at least. There will be no EPOV in this story, though we WILL eventually hear his entire side of the story.**

**But here we get to see how Edward and Bella met, and why she's opposed to the very thought of him, lol.**

**Oh, and these are more traditional vampires, remember. To change someone, you bite them and exchange blood... And it's not excruciatingly painful ;)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight, its characters, or the book Blood and Chocolate. I only thought that the latter would be much more interesting with vampires as the main characters instead of werewolves.

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I was changed only a hundred and twenty years ago in 1890, making me one of the youngest in our second oldest of all Covens still thriving to this day.

We had a very dark history as a group, from causing and fighting in the Southern Vampire Wars, to helping with the Volturi's Guard, to massacring entire villages full of innocents. Most of the people who had participated in just tragedies were still with the Coven to this day, including Edward Cullen. My sire.

I'd never discovered even a hint behind the reason why he changed me, and he certainly wouldn't provide information on the matter either, even if I stooped low enough to ask him. I recalled the night it happened with perfect clarity, though none of it made sense as a whole.

I remembered that I was attending a play at the theater that had opened downtown with my father and one of my suitors when he had caught my eye from clear across the auditorium, flirting with me with his gaze and grin. I couldn't pay attention to the entire first half of the play.

He found me stunningly fast during intermission—too fast for a human I now know—considering how far away he'd been sitting at the time. His eyes captured me, and I made excuses to my father about meeting him back at our seats when the play started once more before I followed where the beautiful man's eyes led me, down a series of empty hallways, where he closed a curtain separating us from view of the attendants of the theater or any patrons that might happen to walk by our secluded spot.

Those same eyes that held me captive glistened at me while he kept a seductive smile on his face. My breath caught, wondering who this man was who could make my heart beat so terribly fast without him ever having spoken to a word to me.

He put a hand on my sternum, his fingers reaching up to caress the bare part of my neck, tapping against my thrumming veins.

"Where should I feast upon first?" he murmured as he stared deep into my eyes, almost causing me to faint at the erotic tone of his words.

"Everywhere," I whispered to him in return.

Our gazes connected silently for an immeasurable amount of time. From beneath the curtain I saw that the lights were flashing on and off, alerting patrons to return to their seats for the second half of the show. I didn't care, and I don't think that he even noticed.

Instead of acknowledging the outside world, he leaned his body into my own, pushing me back against the wall. I was gasping out breaths, not sure what he intended to do with me but excited for it nonetheless. His hand led a scorching path down from my neck, grazing over my chest, brushing past my breasts, smoldering harder on my abdomen, and grabbing frantically at the skirts of my dress, pulling it up as both hands shot underneath and inside my bloomers, one hand holding tightly to my bottom and using it to press me harder against him, while the other hand delved between my legs, shocking me with the sensations he uncovered with his fingers.

"Oh my..." I let out in a naïve breath, my body nearly collapsing into his until he forced me upright. "Again," I told him when I could hold myself steady and straight once more.

He did as I requested, pressing his fingers into that same spot and I let out a soft moan. He covered my lips with his own and began to gently rub his fingers over me in a rhythmic motion, causing me to rock my entire body in time with his touch and making me want to reciprocate the inappropriate way his tongue caressed the inside of my mouth.

I felt the loss when his lips lost contact with mine. He lowered his mouth down to my ear as his fingers paused in their motions.

"Again?" he whispered to me in a voice that had me panting anew. "Or would you like more than just that, my dear Bella?"

I didn't ask how he knew my name and I didn't think about the two people who were waiting for me, most likely wondering and worrying over where I was. I didn't pause to think about how wrong it was for a lady such as myself to want more from a man whom I wasn't married to, and I didn't care about the ramifications of my words and actions.

"More," I told him.

I thought that I must have been in some sort of trance from his actions because it didn't even feel like a second had passed before my bloomers were on the floor and his slacks had been kicked to the side. My dress was being pulled roughly from my frame regardless of the buttons leaving me time to only briefly trouble over the rips that had surely appeared on the garment, and when had he discarded his shirt? I was suddenly lying back on one of the loungers in the hall, my chemise on the floor, and my legs were spread and then he was on top of me, and I felt him, so hard and so close to where I was aching for the first time in my life.

Where had the time gone?

Then he pushed himself into me and I gasped at the swift burst of pain, wondering why it hurt so much. I wanted to tell him to stop or at the very least wait a moment, but before I could do so he leaned forward and bit into my breast.

I instantly melted into his touch, completely riveted by the pleasure I felt form him as he sucked, and pushed, and exited, and thrust again, and caressed me with all of his body.

Soon enough I was shaking under his weight and rocking my hips against him. I used my hands to push his body harder into mine, and his mouth firmer against my breast—he seemed to like my enthusiasm, judging by the way his pelvis drove harder into me, likely bruising my thighs with his force. My leg fell from the couch with the power of his movements, the heel of my shoe making a loud echo in the empty hall, accompanied only by our heavy pants and light moans.

"Hello?" I heard called in the distance, but I couldn't bring myself to care, instead embracing the moment I had with him as I felt his teeth sink deeper into my flesh. I gasped loudly at the feeling and felt his hand hurry to come up and cover my mouth.

"Hello?" the voice called again. "Is anybody there?"

He didn't respond, nor did he remove his hand from my lips as if I might be tempted to either. His hips just continued to move harder and deeper, certainly marring my skin, though I couldn't seem care about this either. I just moaned into the skin of his fingers as he pushed himself as far as he could into me.

It still didn't feel like anywhere near enough and I lowered one of my hands down to where we were joined, curious to feel the extra length he had left to offer me. The rough groan he let out against my chest hummed deep into my skin; I could feel my arteries and veins vibrating with it.

He pulled himself out of me completely, his hand barely concealing my soft sound of discontent as my own hand circled his hard, wet flesh as he exited and plunged roughly back inside, quickly enough for me to let out a shocked and fevered scream, my fingers tangling in the hair at his base, trying to push his entire self into me.

"Again!" I instructed him through his useless fingers still pushed uselessly against my mouth, doing absolutely no good in his attempt to quiet me.

"Hello?" the voice called once more, much closer than before. "Bella?" it asked, and I knew its owner was just on the other side of the curtain that separated us from the general public.

He released my breast, making me whimper slightly at the loss as I closed my eyes tightly. He growled deep and loud as he continued his mad rush of thrusting, pushing harder and deeper with every one, the lounger squealing a couple inches across the floor every couple times. I continued rubbing the skin between us, hard and fast as he was moving into me, letting my fingers feel the extraordinary contrast between his rough curls and the smooth muscle of his stomach just above. I wished I could see it, but I didn't think I'd be able to open my eyes even if I tried.

The fingers of my other hand wrapped around the back of his neck, pushing as he pushed into me, loosening as he pulled out, and pushing again. Those same fingers slid up to wind into the hair on his head, colored a strange bronze that I'd never seen outside of paintings...

I head the faint sound of metal clinking against metal as the thick curtain was pulled back, the small rings at the top sliding across the bar, and the gasping sound that came form the man who discovered us.

"Bella!" he heaved out in a heavy breath, and I squinted my eyes open in time to hardly recognize him as my suitor for the evening before my eyes closed once more.

The man on top of me shifted his body again, causing me cry out involuntarily, as he blocked my body from view as best he could.

"She is not yours to look at. Leave us," he said simply, though his voice has a menacing edge to it.

I heard his stumbling steps growing farther away and then we were back to our previous activities, pushing and pulling, though this time he bit into my neck. A deep moan escaped my lips that I'm sure he felt in his teeth, and he no longer tried to mask my noises with his fingers.

"More," I breathed out to him and he lifted my fallen leg from the floor and pulled it up over his shoulder.

I gasped loudly at the new position of him inside me, and then again as he somehow managed to fit more of himself into me and sucked harder at my neck, surely going to leave a mark there as well. My vision started to grow fuzzy from the feeling of it all, and suddenly it felt like my entire being exploded, waves of pleasure washing over me, covering my body from head to toe in massive doses, and hardly dulling with each passing wave. I arched off of the lounger and harder into his hips, feeling him give off an explosion of his own as cold bursts forced their way farther inside of me, the contractions my body was suffered to drawing the strange coldness deeper into my being.

_Wow..._

It was no wonder that married women would never talk about intimate time with their husbands in public; it would make all the eligible masses think twice about waiting until they were committed if they got to feel such a thing each time.

He collapsed on top of me, his mouth still lightly sucking at my neck as I wrapped my arms and legs more fully around him.

"Again," I told him, slightly surprised at the way my voice slurred, and just realizing how tired and drained I felt.

He didn't respond, instead sucking more skin into his mouth at my throat.

"Again," I tried once more, rubbing my hand sluggishly on his back.

He didn't respond, instead taking larger pulls from my neck.

I froze in shock at my realization of what he was doing—he was... sucking blood... from _me._

But of course that had to be incorrect, I told myself. I simply must have been incoherent still, not thinking straight. I was too exhausted to really know what was happening.

Still, I put a hand on his face, running it down to his jaw line to try to gently move his face away. He bit into me harder in response, jerking his head to the side, and it actually _hurt_ for the first time, feeling the way my flesh ripped at the movement.

"Ow... stop..." I whimpered to him, but he didn't. I shakily removed my hand, my blurred vision registering the wet redness on it with shock. _He's actually drinking my blood!_

"Please," I tried entreating him once more. "Please stop," I said, trying to calm the monster that was feeding at my throat by stroking his hair.

It worked, and he roughly pulled away from my neck, a wild look in his eyes as he looked me over, seeming to be assessing the damage he had done to me. I stared back at him, wondering what he planned to do to me next, appalled by the answer to my question.

He pulled his wrist to his mouth and savagely bit into his own skin before thrusting the wound at my face. I scrunched up my nose and tried to turn away, but I didn't have enough blood left in my system to actively resist him. He only used two fingers to pry my mouth open, bringing his injury to my lips.

I tried once more to tell him to stop, but in doing so I tasted him.

And he tasted like... like... like the seven deadly sins, or perhaps ambrosia, or maybe even the devil. No matter what it was I compared him to, I could no longer fight the urge to have more of it once it first passed onto my tongue. I brought my weak hands up to hold his arm steady, feeding from him like the vampire he was creating in me.

I couldn't find it in me to care at that moment as I consumed his blood. His poison.

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0

I woke up feeling disoriented in a dark room, the only light coming from the glint in his eyes as he stared at me.

But I felt _it._ I felt the Power within me. It was glorious, the feeling that I was strong and superior and could do anything I wanted to.

I took a deep, unnecessary breath, shocked at the flavors I tasted in the air. Vanilla, moonlight, and something else... I followed the scent with my nose and realized that I could smell _him_, and he smelled absolutely divine.

The feelings I was experiencing were indescribable and I wanted to thank him for the gift he had given me, for I knew that it was because of him that I had this new power.

I looked him over, for some reason surprised to see that he was wearing clothing again when I still was not. His hair hadn't been altered at all, though, the same mess it had become from my hands running through it, though his eyes seemed to be a dark burgundy in color that I hadn't noticed before.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever wake," he said in a somber tone as his hand caressed over my bare skin where I lay.

It felt so wonderful, his casual ghosting over my stomach and breast that I didn't even bother to reply.

"You had me worried. I thought for a long while that I hadn't stopped in time, that I'd taken too much." He spoke in a quiet, calm voice as his hand continued to rub over my body. If I thought the sensations he created with his touch were heavenly before, now they felt absolutely devilish and I didn't mind my blasphemy in the least.

He climbed on top of me and I began to hope that we'd have a repeat of our earlier experience, especially when he lowered his head between my breasts. I was surprised and disappointed, however, when he merely placed his ear over my heart.

"It hasn't beat in seven days," he said in response to my questioning gaze.

I'm sure that my expression turned to incredulous at his words, and then fearful when I realized how still my body felt. He was right—it wasn't beating.

"It usually only takes three days for the change to be completed," he continued, his gaze intent on my own. "I thought that I'd killed you, but I decided to wait to make sure. I'm glad that I did."

I stared at him in shock.

He sighed and rolled his body off of mine, offering a hand to me. "Come. We need to hunt. Your throat has to be burning, yes?"

I hadn't actually noticed until he mentioned it, but once he did it felt like real little flames were licking up and down the narrow passage, and I couldn't squelch the desire I had to sate the feeling, wanting warm liquid to slide down...

He took my hand when I didn't place it inside his and pulled me up from my lying position on the bed, leading me to a wardrobe on the far wall. From within it he pulled out a plain yellow dress and pulled it over my body, helping me adjust the material around my torso so that it fit across my properly. It felt like I was only wearing a chemise, the way my extra senses felt the air around me so much more and I embraced the breeze that ran across all of my bare parts.

Then he took my hand again, leading me outside, down several streets, and positioned us in the mouth of an alley, hiding in a dark doorway together with his hands wrapped around me and my own resting on his chest.

I wasn't at all shocked when he grabbed the man who walked by us and attacked him. Somehow I had realized what was happening and let my instincts take over my brain, feeding off of him opposite my sire. Too soon the man lay dead on the floor next to us and I was still hungry.

We went to another alley and did the same thing. Over and over again we killed until my newborn bloodlust was sated, my throat no longer feeling like it was ripping me to pieces from the inside.

He took my hand once more and we ran back to the large house I was awakened in, and back into that dark room. He closed the door behind us and helped me out of my dress again, as it was covered in blood by my lack of finesse that he claimed came only with practice and experience. He wet a washcloth from the bowl on the bedside table and wiped the spilled blood from my person using a gentle touch; I hardly felt a thing. After, I laid back down on the bed, wondering what was going to come next. I didn't pay mind to my nudity as I rolled over onto my side.

"You haven't spoken yet," he pointed out in a soft voice.

My silence that evening hadn't been intentional, but I still didn't respond. He lay behind me, spooning himself against my back.

"Please, Bella. Speak to me. Tell me what you're thinking."

I took a deep breath and told him. I appreciated the power, but didn't like the cost. I didn't like what he had turned me into, living to feed off of the life of others... I didn't like it. I abhorred it.

And so he nodded, getting up to pull a fresh dress from the wardrobe—this one a rich blue in color—and set it next to me on the bed. He didn't assist me in putting it on this time around, and glared at me as he left, saying that he'd send someone else in to talk to me, advising me to get dressed before they arrived.

That was one of the last times Edward had interacted with me, and the last time he spoke to me.

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0

He never told me his name and I'd only later learned it from Renee, the woman who was picked by the Coven to be my mother for the outside world.

I learned from her the extent of my abilities as a vampire, my strengths and weaknesses, and the way we lived as a Coven—in this instance we inhabited a mansion on the edge of town. She took me out hunting the several times and after a few trips I managed not to make such a mess out of the kill, though I still hated doing it. Renee guided me, while Edward barely acknowledged my presence.

He'd nod at me in passing if we met up in a hall of our home for the first few years, but that small gesture eventually disappeared.

Not a word left his lips to me after he left me alone in that room, even if he sometimes appeared kind, such as he was to Carlisle.

And I use the word "sometimes" generously, meaning that to the vast majority of our family to was rude and arrogant. He didn't mind speaking to those _around_ me, and when he chose to do so, it was usually something callous that came out of his mouth.

It only took me a year or so to give up trying to befriend him, or ever find out why he chose to change me if he was going to treat me in such a manner.

After my first talk with Renee, it was clear that she thought he had changed me to be his mate. After the way he'd seduced me and the soft way he spoke to me when I first woke I initially thought it was true... Until I was proven wrong my his avoidance and hostile glances which I eventually began to return.

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0

I sighed. I didn't want to relive my non-past with Edward. I had math homework to copy from Garrett.

* * *

**No, I did not officially edit this chapter because I'm lazy, but I don't think there's any glaring mistakes. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about that.**

**So... Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Feel free to leave me a review.**

**Much Love,**

**MuffN  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**My computer is dead and all of its dcuments lost. I'm just glad that I already had this chapter posted on another site so I could give it to y'all.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight, its characters, or the book Blood and Chocolate. I only thought that the latter would be much more interesting with vampires as the main characters instead of werewolves.**

After Carlisle's visit to our house, we were extra diligent in making sure that we did everything possible to make us look like a credible human family.

This included trips to the grocery store, despite the way all those disgusting scents mixed together bothered our powerful olfactory senses. We both hated this part of the facade.

She was standing with our half-full cart in the middle of the bread aisle flirting with a random human to keep the show going.

I wanted to snicker, but knew that the average daughter in this age would be embarrassed by her mother being so open about her sexual needs, so I whined at her to get a move on. Her jaw set at me in displeasure, but her eyes were amused as she accepted the man's business card containing his contact information before dragging me to another aisle, whispering her phony dissatisfaction with me loud enough for him to hear snatches of it as we walked away. We had the act down to a tee.

Once we spied the man leave the store, we hurried to pull the card back out of her purse. _Chief of Police. Charlie Swan_. Hm. We'd need to talk to Carlisle and let him decide which would be the wiser option: letting him court Renee to keep him on our good side, or avoid him so he wouldn't get too close to us. We'd tried both techniques in the past, and they seemed to work equally well in small towns.

We continued our business, shopping around the store for ingredients we would never use, before we went back home just to throw away the vast majority of it all. We kept a very small supply in the cupboards and fridge on the rare chance that we had reason for some human to pull an unexpected visit.

Carlisle came over later at our invite, bringing his "son" Jasper with him again. He came to the conclusion to let the poor Chief of Police try to pursue Renee if he so wished, but for us to obviously not get too close to him.

I gave Carlisle a hug goodbye and Jasper a soft smile which he returned, reaching up as if to tip his hat to me. I couldn't help but giggle, enjoying how after all these years, some of the habits that had been deeply ingrained within us stayed after so long. He chuckled at himself as well, and I would have sworn that he'd have blushed if such a thing was possible with our complexions. He was a sweet boy.

Once they were gone, Renee and I decided to make a hunting trip to the nearby city of Port Angeles, knowing that our Coven would never be able to get away with hunting in a small town such as this one. We returned home just before before dawn broke, fully sated and smiling.

It was time for me to ready myself for another school day.

I paid more attention to the people around me that day. I hadn't specifically avoided all of them out of hunger before, but it was easier to focus on so many humans around me when I didn't have even the slightest burn in my throat. It was because of this observance that I saw a police cruiser pulling in from the highway, Charlie Swan inside of it with another man. I cocked my head to the side, trying to figure out if someone at the school was having legal troubles or if he was merely paying a visit.

I turned on my charm and my smile, ditched the guys, and pretended not to notice the cruiser when I walked to the front of the parking lot, making sure to get there there just as the man from the passenger seat exited the car right beside me.

"Whoa there!" he said as he bumped his large frame into mine, grabbing hold of my upper arms as if he had knocked me over; I suppose that would have been a distinct possibility if I were merely a human. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I told him, effecting a slightly breathless tone. "Are you- oh, hello, Chief," I interrupted myself as if I had just noticed the main target of my act.

"Hi," he replied, sounding somewhat surprised at my sudden appearance. "Bella, is it?" I nodded happily in confirmation. "How have you been, Bella? And your mother?" he tacked on at the end as if I wouldn't know that was what he'd wanted to know about from the start.

I smiled conspiratorially at him and said, "I'm good, and she's been doing great. Hasn't been able to keep a grin off her face since we went grocery shopping last night for some strange reason."

The Chief blushed and the man standing next to me chuckled in response.

"Oh, forgive me for not making the introductions. Bella, this is Jacob. Jake, this is Bella, Renee Higginbothom's daughter."

"It's lovely to make your acquaintance, Jacob," I said, grimacing internally both at my old fashioned phrasing as well as the use of Renee's last name, which I despised with a passion.

"And you, Bella," he replied, all charm and ease in his voice. This Jacob was very pleasant to look at...

"Well, kids, I've got to get going down to the station. Learn lots!" he called over his shoulder, reaching across the seats of the car to shut the passenger side door and pulling away from the curb.

"You're a new student here," Jacob said without preamble once we were left alone.

"How very astute of you to notice that," I grinned back, starting to walk away. He hurried to catch up with me as I knew he would and I smirked a little. I had a human pet in Forks already.

"I just meant that I've never seen you anywhere before yesterday. I'm sure I would have noticed _you_," he assured me, placing a large arm around my shoulders. I thought about its position for a moment and decided that I didn't mind it, therefore letting him keep it attached to his body for the time being.

"And I'm sure I would have noticed you as well. I don't know if you know this already, but you're kind of a giant," I pretended to confide in him as I effected a worried expression. He laughed long and deeply at my silly joke; it was refreshing to hear such a joyous sound with the repetitive nature of life our kind as forced to endure.

"I am, but maybe only in comparison to you. You're kinda delicate looking," he smiled as we entered the main building.

"I may look innocent and fragile, but I can hold my own," I told him, knowing there was a glint in my eyes as I flashed my teeth at him in a smile. My exceptional hearing could pick up the sound of the guys laughing at the scene down the hall, knowing I had just dazzled the poor, unsuspecting human.

Who needed the legends of vampiric thrall holding our prey in place when we had our physical attributes to do so flawlessly?

Jacob briefly shook his head in a failed attempt to clear it as I removed myself from under his arm.

"Thanks for walking me to class," I told him, stepping into the room behind him and picking out a seat in the back. I glanced back up to the doorway and saw him still standing there, still dazed.

x0x0x0x00x0x0x

I had both Biology and P.E. with Jacob after lunch, much to my pleasure. I don't know why I hadn't noticed him in either class the day before, but I supposed I just hadn't cared enough to pay attention.

I was beginning to discover that he was fun to be around.

We sat in the back in Biology to talk to each other, shocking me to discover that he was actually interesting to talk to—you know, for a human. He liked fixing cars for fun and was starting to move into motorcycles as well. He could cook any type of pasta in the world and have it come out as a gourmet meal, but couldn't even make toast without somehow burning it. He had an addiction to the History channel, pleasing me with his knowledge of the late eighteen hundreds. I'd have to quiz him on it at another time, considering how I lived that life and knew the facts of how society really was.

He was also pretty much Charlie Swan's adopted son. Apparently his father was some sort of crazy, delusional drunk, and Charlie had taken over custody of him when he was fourteen. It seemed that the Chief was a good man as well; it was a shame that Renee wasn't actually attracted to him, as I would have been happy that such a man liked her in return.

In our next and last period, I discovered that Jacob was also strong and athletic. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the way he ran back and forth on the court, throwing the basketball around. I had a note from my doctor—meaning it was forged by Carlisle—excusing me from the majority of gym activities, allowing me to simply sit on the bleachers and enjoy the show Jacob put on for me.

Most of my kind didn't mind faking some activities, such as games played in class, but I did. I _loved_ my power and I hated the idea of not using it simply to result in purposely losing something. I was stronger, faster, and _better_ than everyone out there on the court and if I couldn't prove it, then I didn't want to participate in it at all. Call me selfish, stubborn, egotistical, or truthful. It wouldn't matter and I didn't care. I would _not_ pretend to be any less than I was, just as I would never let anyone treat me as less than I was... Hence the fake doctor's note.

Which I was lucky that I had thought to do ahead of time.

If I hadn't, then I would surely have been playing and missed the pleasant image when Jacob lifted his shirt to wipe the sweat beading down his face from his exertion. He had a glorious display of muscles hidden under there and his shorts were low enough on his hips that my hawk's vision could see the dark hair that crept up from underneath. I licked my lips involuntarily at the bulge that naturally erupted from the front of his shorts, imagining what it would be like, hardened and inside of me.

Needless to say, I hadn't had sex in a very. long. time. And just like any other senses and instincts, a vampire's sexual drive is many times more powerful than a regular human's.

Slight movement on his part caught my eye so I let my gaze wander up to meet his, seeing him smirking at me. He'd seen me admiring him and could most likely guess where my gaze had been focused on so he returned the favor for my benefit, letting his eyes travel up the bare expanse of my legs in my wretched gym shorts, across my torso which I knew was displayed quite well with the way I was leaning back against the bleachers, pausing long enough on my breasts to make sure I was aware of how much he liked them, and then studying my face. He liked what he saw of me and I smirked in response. Humans could be very entertaining if one paused long enough if interact with them.

I let out an unnecessary sigh on his behalf and shyly looked down at the ground before peering back at him from under my eyelashes, flirting with him. He grinned and copied the motion, shuffling his feet against the ground slightly until he was rammed into by another player from behind, the basketball game still going on around him despite the way our moment led us to believe otherwise.

I giggled at his hunched over form before he stood back upright, shooting me one more grin before he threw his whole self back into the game and kicked more ass. He gave me four more long looks at his abs during the game even though he had been hardly breaking a sweat each time. I laughed at his lack of subtlety but took advantage of the view each time nonetheless.

Charlie Swan came to pick Jacob up from school and offered me a ride as well. I accepted it without a second of doubt, knowing that he was offering so that he would have the possibility of seeing Renee—it was better to set the foundation for their sham of a future relationship sooner rather than later.

During the ride Jacob pulled down his sun blocker despite the lack of brightness, taking his time to angle it just right... so he could smile at me through the little mirror. I grinned at his adorable little human flirting, wanting to giggle at his antics as he made faces at me. Eventually I pretended not to notice him and he merely tried harder, knowing it was just an act as he studiously ignored his father figure's amused looks beside him. It was a fun game to play.

It didn't take too long to arrive at the house, Renee appearing at the door with an apron around her waist covered in flour as if she had just been baking. I wanted to congratulate her on her attention to detail as she welcomed me home from school with a hug and kiss to my forehead like any Betty Crocker mother would.

"Thank you so much for giving her a ride home, Chief," she smiled demurely at him as she leaned in the open driver's side window, causing him to blush a deep red.

"It wasn't a problem," he said gruffly. "Glad to do it."

Renee and I exchanged a glance too quickly for either of the humans to notice it; he was a sweet human and obviously a pushover for her. Our safety in this town was as good as secure if we took advantage of the kind man's feelings.

"But I'm grateful nonetheless," Renee insisted without a pause; they'd never know about our short nonverbal exchange. "Is there any way I can return the favor?" she asked, an eyebrow slightly raised.

I heard a small chuckle coming from the passenger side of the car and resisted the urge to look at Jacob to confirm it.

"Yeah, you can come over for dinner on Friday night," he volunteered, not so subtly. "Both of you."

"Jake," the red-faced police officer admonished as he tried to hide his hope. "I'm sure these ladies already have their hands full with moving in or something. I don't think they'll be able to come."

"Oh, but we'd love to," Renee volunteered, a warm smile on her face as she captured Charlie's eye.

"Absolutely," I supplied when I finally let my gaze land on Jacob, seeing him waiting for my approval to his request. It wouldn't hurt any to flirt him with for an evening outside of school. He gave me a brilliant smile in response; I almost felt like the sun was shining on us after all.

"Great," he winked at me. "It's settled then. 6:30, and I'll have dinner waiting."

"Uh, yes," the Chief agreed, too dazed by his good fortune to reply with anything intelligent.

They drove away not not after that exchange, and Renee and I giggled at the poor man's adoration over her. Dinner that night would be an important event and we looked forward to it, even if it meant that we would have to puke up pasta later on that night.

Renee even actually tried baking a pie for the evening to go with the character she was portraying, though it took several attempts and the Food Network channel for us to finally get it right. One doesn't realize how much instincts humans actually have until they have to go without... Not only would a taste test prove nothing for us, but we also had no memories of eating a completed pie, and therefore didn't know how long to cook it for, what the coloring on it should be when it was finished, the correct texture to look for...

I was suddenly grateful for Martha Stewart, which is a sentence that I could honestly say that I never once thought that I would ever utter.

I was just exceedingly glad that we'd started attempting the pie several days before the dinner was to take place, giving us a chance to learn how to do it properly.

And I gave full permission for Renee to blame everything on me if it was discovered that it tasted horridly to the humans; she had a certain image to portray as a homemaker, and I was merely a teenage daughter.

When it was finally six at night on Friday, Renee and I packed up our finished product in a freshly purchased pie basket and climbed into her car to head over for an evening of torture in the form of human food. Pasta always was the worst coming back up, the strings of noodles seeming to enjoy slithering slowly back up my throat.

But surely it would all be worth it to spend some time playing with my new human pet and letting Renee secure our Coven's safety in this small town, right?

While I enjoyed the night while I was there, I could most definitely say after the fact that it was _not_ worth it.

I absolutely hated consuming pasta, and I hated how weak I seemed to Renee as she patted my back reassuringly as I did my best to cough up the lingering strands of food, thinking I'd _never_ get it all out.

_Willfully choosing to associate with humans will **never** turn out well_, I heard in my head.

The phrase had been repeated over and over again to almost every member of our Coven throughout the years, and I hated to think that the speaker had it correct. Maybe this disgusting pasta was exactly what I needed to remind myself that having a human pet in school was one thing, but spending an evening with him was another. I shouldn't try to repeat the experience.

But then I scoffed.

As if I would listen to any advice that Edward had given out, especially when he never lowered himself down to speak those words to _me_, of course.

Not only would I encourage Jacob's affections, but I'd eat his damn pasta whenever the hell he offered it to me.\

There really wasn't any harm in doing so, after all.

**

* * *

**

No, I did not officially edit this chapter because I'm lazy, but I don't think there's any glaring mistakes. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about that.

**So... Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Feel free to leave me a review.**

**Much Love,**

**MuffN**


	4. Chapter 4

**My computer is dead and all of its dcuments lost. I'm just glad that I already had this chapter posted on another site as well so I could give it to y'all.**

**More Edward here. A LOT more. I know y'all were missing him ;)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight, its characters, or the book Blood and Chocolate. I only thought that the latter would be much more interesting with vampires as the main characters instead of werewolves.**

* * *

The guys and I were hanging out in the back garden of the Main House, where roughly half of the Coven families lived; there hadn't been a mansion for lease for all of us to live in in a town the size of Forks, hence why some of us had formed into our smaller groups in smaller homes throughout the town.

There was a total of twenty-seven vampires in our Coven at the moment, and though only thirteen were officially residents of the Main House, it was still a popular place for the majority of us to spend our time. Considering how there weren't many being like us in the world, we tended to stick together in our spare time, and without having the ability to sleep, nights were tediously boring if we had to spend them by ourselves.

So it was on this Saturday night that I was hanging out with the other guys my age—or at least the other guys who had bodies the same age as mine, rather than the same number of years on this earth. We did as we usually did on night such as this: hunted local wildlife to tide us over until an out of town trip was possible, wrestled each other around on the grass, played a few hands of poker, and engaged in average teenage debauchery.

Nothing too terrible, of course, but honestly... who wouldn't experiment _some_ when one lives an unchanging life such as ours?

We had been imbibing alcohol for the past hour and a half, and I was sitting on James' lap as we all played a couple rounds of 21. I purposely pressed myself into him each time I leaned forward on the table, loving this bit of power I felt over controlling his reactions as I was. His dick was pushing back insistently against me by the third round, and his hands splayed out on my spread thighs by the fifth.

By the ninth round I had been turned around in his lap and he was rocking us back and forth into each other while he tried to multitask and still play the game because I enjoyed seeing him have to work so hard to concentrate on his hand as we were rubbing up against each other. It was very entertaining.

The eleventh round began and one of James' hands was playing idly at the base of my neck, lightly caressing the curve of my throat as if he thought he was being sly about what he was working up the courage to ask me to do. As if I'd really let him drink from me. I rolled my eyes.

His other hand was underneath my skirt and oh-so-close to my naughty bits, rubbing firmly just below the curve where my thigh met my pelvis. I never wore underwear because I wasn't a human and saw no point in doing so, and this fact was at the front of my mind as James let his hand travel another millimeter up my thigh. He was very close to discovering this little fact about me.

I rarely sunk down to the level of enjoying my less carnal desires, but I hadn't had sex in a couple of years... I was beginning to think that perhaps it was time to give in to that particular urge once more when the poker table was suddenly upended. James' hand went to my waist to hold me steady as I turned around wildly, trying to find the source of the disruption.

It was Edward, breathing heavily, though it couldn't have possibly taken him any effort to throw the card table as he did. As vampires we were much stronger than that.

I raised an eyebrow in silent question, wondering who it could be that he was going to throw a fit at this time, and what little infraction it could be about.

"You..." he began in a shockingly violent voice, glaring past me at James.

Ah, James. He was a popular target for Edward's sudden rages.

"You made an agreement with Carlisle. You would drive our Coven members to and from the school, making sure they were safe at all times. You were given this responsibility, and you have not been fulfilling your duties," he accused, murder in his gaze.

I just rolled my eyes at his theatrics. Not only was it a frequent occurance for him to attack James, but also me, even if he never officially directed his words at me.

But Carlisle had already said it was alright that the Chief offered to drive me home. He actually encouraged it, knowing that it would help make us look like a normal grouping of humans if we weren't always so dependent on each other, interacting with others as well. And he'd always said that I was such a good little actress for others that I could even fool myself if I wanted to.

"So?" James replied to Edward's accusations, keeping his grip tight on me like a coward. It was common knowledge that Edward always went out of his way to avoid me at all costs, so if I continued to sit on his lap, Edward wouldn't try to pull James into a physical fight. I wanted to roll my eyes again.

Edward growled deeply in response before answering. "So, why the hell would you put another member in danger like that? What were you thinking?" he hollered, and we could all hear nearby animals scattering frantically in the trees.

"Dude, Carlisle himself said it was alright," Emmett put in, pulling Edward back a couple of steps. Emmett was one of the few people who Edward treated with any semblance of respect—something that I found surprising when I learned that he had sired Emmett a few decades before me. Perhaps he only hated his female victims.

Edward took a deep breath as if oxygen could help steady his temper before he spoke from between clenched teeth. "I'm not talking about Carlisle. I'm talking about his own personal lack of responsibility and reasonable judgment when he stopped caring and failed to protect one of his own! If it was _my_ job to-"

"But it _isn't_ your job, is it?" James challenged with a cocky grin on his face, taunting his opponent. I was severely irritated because he would never have said or done such if I weren't situated on his lap still. "And this isn't your Coven either, no matter what you may think."

"Perhaps," he spat in such a vicious snarl that even I flinched slightly. "But I know of your plans for Carnival as well, James, and if you're thinking about staking a claim on _that one_-" he said, gesturing towards me and actually acknowledging my presence for the first time, "then you've got another thing coming."

I ignored what was obviously a slight on me and turned to look at James. "You plans for Carnival?" I questioned him, and he snapped his gaze over to my disapproving face, not answering.

"He wants to inherit the Leadership," Edward explained, shocking everyone present by directly addressing me. My mouth dropped open as I looked at him, and he actually met my gaze, fire in his eyes. "He won't win. I won't let him. And therefore he has no need to try to seduce you before the event."

I hissed at him. How _dare_ he talk about seducing me. At least James was my friend and actually spoke to me on a regular basis.

But I still stood up from James' lap in case there was any truth in the statement. No one was stupid enough to attempt to become his mate when Victoria was waiting on the sidelines. Sex, sure, but no commitment. She was the most vindictive vampire I'd ever met, and that was certainly saying something when I had stood in front of the whole of the Volturi in my time.

And I could never be friendly to someone who had plans to usurp Carlisle's seat of power.

James put his hands in his lap when I stood, trying to hide the hard on he still had. Edward growled and actually grabbed my arm, pulling me farther away from the asshole in the chair before he lunged, knocking James out of his seat as they grappled on the ground, hisses and snarls coming from their position on the grass.

I sighed and rubbed my arm where he had briefly held it. It was much too strange, him talking to me and looking at me and touching me after all these years of nothing.

I looked over at Garrett and Emmett, both watching the fight in amusement. I squeezed my way in between the two of them and wrapped an arm around each of their backs, one lean and tight, and the other broad and muscular. What kind of female would I be if I didn't like being in that position?

"Are we taking bets?" I asked with a grin.

"Hundred on Edward," Emmett immediately offered. "He's got a better motivation."

I rolled my eyes; he always seemed be be aggressively _motivated_ by something, after all.

"You're on," Garrett agreed. "Who are you putting your money on, Bella?"

"Hm..." I thought, a grin spreading on my face.

Matching ones spread on their faces as well as the caught on to what I was thinking. They both took out their wallets, preparing for the inevitable.

"Me," I said cheekily as they shook their heads with small smiles and I jumped into the tumbling mess on the floor, trying to pull the two men away from each other.

They both continued their fight for a few seconds, trying to get shots in at each other around me, and I would be lying if I said that it wasn't hot to be in the middle of two sexy men as they battled it out. But I had a bet to win, and that meant I had to break it up. I finally just put a hand on both of their chests, pushing them away from each other several feet.

"Are we done now?" I asked, raising an eyebrow to them each in turn.

Edward backed off to lean against the wall of the building and sulk. James righted his chair and sat back down on it, gesturing with his hand to offer the chair as a seat for me again, but I didn't accept his offer. I couldn't if there was even an ounce of truth to Edward's insinuations.

But James wouldn't really be stupid enough to try to take over Carlisle's position, would he? He wasn't mature enough to competently handle all that came with Leading, and that was why it was a known fact to me that Jasper should be the one to continue the line... eventually... whenever Carlisle willingly gave up his title, not when someone tried to force it out from under him. _Jasper_ was the one who had the smarts and leadership experience, and he had been shadowing Carlisle's steps the last couple years, after all.

Emmett and Garrett both forked their losses over to me before fixing the table and collecting the cards, returning to their game.

I sat with Garrett this time, knowing for a fact that he wasn't planning to overthrow Carlisle's reign. Carlisle was like a father to him, just as he was to me.

And Edward still stood in the shadows, still watching and glaring.

I began my little game anew with Garrett as a new game of Texas Hold 'Em commenced.

I started with casually rubbing against Garrett, then being a little more obvious, then blatantly pressing into his crotch. He simply chuckled and held onto my hips as I felt him react. That was exactly why I liked Garrett. I could tease and hit on him all I wanted, and he wouldn't instigate any further activities. He was saving himself for the one he wanted to be his mate.

So I continued with my little lap dance as we played the card game as a team, deciding which cards to keep and which to be rid of, giggled when his hips involuntarily thrust up after I accidentally touched his erection while pulling at my skirt so I wouldn't flash everybody... And it truly was an accident. Even _I_ wouldn't tease Garrett that much.

Our little immature moment obviously earned Edward's disapproval, as he growled loudly from his spot on the wall. I turned to glare at him for being a prude.

He only growled louder, his eyes reflecting blindingly into mine in the moonlight.

"God, Bella, why don't you just go fuck him so he'll leave us alone?" Emmett declared suddenly, jerking his head over to Edward, who hissed in response.

I raised an eyebrow at his idea of solving Edward's attitude problem, but he just smirked at me in response. I turned my head back over to Edward, this time really studying him. There was a definite bulge in his jeans, and his eyes that burned into mine so brightly just a moment before held a manic quality that I recognized from many years before.

I wanted to both tease him mercilessly and rip his head off for having those thoughts about me. He _had _me, and had the opportunity for so much more of me... until he decided to completely ignore me for one hundred and twenty years. I was better than how he treated me.

So I hissed back at his arousal, growling threateningly until he disappeared back into the house.

"Aw, don't leave him hanging like your human," Emmett taunted, pulling my gaze from the now unoccupied wall. I glared at him. "What? Renee told me how you flirted with the poor boy all through your dinner with him last night, and then didn't even say goodnight to him before you left... Poor boy. You're gonna break his heart."

I rolled my eyes at his gleeful tone. He loved it whenever a vampire found a human pet to play with; for some reason, the idea entertained him immensely. I personally just thought that his was a sadist when it came to inferior humans. I suppose we all were, in a way, considering how we hunted them and basked in their fear and horror for survival.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked him dismissively. I had no apologies for my actions the evening before. Jacob enjoyed this little game just as much as I did, so it was no harm done to him or anyone else.

"It has to do with it because you've given our poor Eddie boy one hell of a hard on from watching your lap dances with other men this evening, and you don't even have the decency to flash him your tits to whack off with? Not very accommodating of you," he mocked.

I snarled as viciously as I could at him at the same moment that a lamp hit his head from an open third story window. I supposed it was a safe wager that the window belonged to Edward's room.

Emmett merely chuckled, dusting broken shards from his hair.

"Edward already has such visuals if so chooses to remember," I sniffed out dismissively. The story of the circumstances of my change weren't a secret, after all. Hissing could be heard from up high at my comment and I was almost offended at his attitude.

"Yeah, but it's an old memory, Bella. I'll tell you what. I will buy you a new car _and_ offer my unlimited assistance in that little game you're playing with your human if you go up and flash Edward right now," Emmett smirked, and a rain of items flew down from the window to smash into him. Shoes, books, drawers, end tables... you name it.

And I thought about it. How much did I hate Edward? Not enough to give up Emmett's help. He was always so much fun to play with, and his enthusiasm for messing with human minds knew no bounds.

So I counted the windows to Edward's room and flew up the stairs before I could change my mind.

Edward was still hurling the entire contents of his bedroom out the window at an amused Emmett and therefore didn't take notice of my presence until I was beside him, closing his window and curtains. I didn't want an even larger audience for this, after all.

"Bella," he acknowledged coldly when he realized I was next to him, backing away from me several paces.

"Edward," I replied in the same tone.

"I feel I have the duty to warn you that if you show me your breasts, I won't want to let you leave the room so easily after the fact."

"Fuck you," I replied casually, pulling my shirt over my head and unclasping my bra. I was thankful I chose to wear the one that hooked together in the front on that evening.

I stood there half naked for exactly five seconds, letting Edward get his fill in before I pulled the front of the bra back together, securing the material again.

And then Edward was right in front of me, his hand reaching forward. I wanted to slap him. He pulled the material of my bra down slightly on one side, gazing carefully at the bare skin there. It took me a moment to realize he was looking at the scar from where he had bitten me the night we met, so I slapped his hand away, readjusting the cloth back in place.

He glared at me in return—obviously not liking the fact that he wasn't in control—and grabbed my neck, forcing it to the side and sweeping my hair out of his way so he could look at the scar that he knew would be there, too. Vampire bites were the only marks that would forever stay branded on our bodies from before our change. No other scars would remain, and none could be acquired after, even through another bite.

I growled at his audacity, but he didn't loosen his hold on my throat as he stared at the mark there for a long moment.

Then he let go, practically throwing me back into the wall in his sudden release.

"You may go now," he said condescendingly, and I hissed at him. I didn't like being told what to do, even though he scared me slightly. I stayed exactly where I was, simply because I knew he didn't want me there.

He raised an eyebrow at my blatant defiance.

"I will not be bossed around and controlled, especially by the likes of you," I told him honestly, to which he glared in return.

"If you hate me so much, then why don't you go and leave me in peace?" he growled.

"Because you hate having me here and I love making you miserable," I answered with as bright a smile as I could muster.

"Consider my words now as your warning for what will happen if you stay in my room as you are."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh? And what will happen if I force you to continue enduring my company?"

"Something I will not regret."

I scoffed, though his words made me nervous.

And then he lunged for my throat.

My pulse quickened and I prepared myself for the feel of his teeth tearing into my skin, but they never bit down. Instead... he was _kissing_ me.

"Oh, gross!" I cried out in a panic, trying to pull away from him.

"I warned you of the consequences for your actions," he mumbled against my neck as he held me tightly to him, his hands attempting to explore the bare expanse of my back.

"Whatever," I said, managing to push him away. "Ew. Gross. That is most definitely never going to happen again," I added, bending over to pick up my fallen shirt.

He was staring at my ass as I stood back up.

"Gross..." I whispered again to myself, backing out of the room with the shirt pressed against my skin to cover as much as possible.

He merely smirked lazily at me in return.

I hadn't the faintest idea that the seemingly innocuous dare from Emmett would have awakened the sleeping monster within, and how such a thing could change every aspect of my life.

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No, I did not officially edit this chapter because I'm lazy, but I don't think there's any glaring mistakes. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about that.

**So... Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Feel free to leave me a review.**

**Much Love,**

**MuffN**


	5. Chapter 5

**Blood or Chocolate, which does she crave more? We shall see her choice soon ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the novels Twilight or Blood and Chocolate... or the characters within either. I merely thought the plot of the latter would be better with the characters of the former :P**

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**5.**

A very simple routine was being developed in the very simple town of Forks, Washington.

Renee and I would torture ourselves browsing aisles upon aisles of horrid smelling human food every other week as we shopped to keep up human appearances. We'd laugh, talk about nothing, and smile at other patrons and those unfortunate enough to work at the market.

We'd have dinner at the Swan residence every Friday. She'd flirt, I'd flirt, and we'd both heave up the disgusting noodles Jacob continued to make every evening when we returned home.

I would drive to school five days a week with James and company, go to my lessons, and be as polite as I could manage to the inferior human teachers who deigned to think they knew more about the subject they were teaching than I. Chief Swan would offer to drive me home every one of those five days, I's shyly agree, and all three of us would act like we didn't know that I'd be going with when he asked. I always played games with Jake in the mirror, just as we did that first day.

Oh, and Edward would usually discover a way to sexually harass me at least once a day.

Sometimes I'd find him waiting in my room after I emerged from the shower. Sometimes he'd manage to cop a feel on me out of nowhere if we passed each other in the halls of the Main House. Sometimes he's appear behind me (this was mostly the case whenever I was bending over something) and whisper filthy things in my ear that I had no desire in hearing from him.

I was beginning to long for the days when he'd ignored me.

School was usually my only chance to be away from him. Of course, I say "usually" because he actually _had_ shown up there to harass me a few times in the preceding weeks. It was a wonder that school officials hadn't spotted him and asked him to leave the premises as of yet. However, school had still become a safe haven for me because I didn't have to worry about him as much as anywhere else... And while I was there I got to spend time with Jacob, who was growing on me. For a human.

The boy was blatantly attracted to me, but he was polite in his adoration; he didn't torture me with his "affections" as Edward did. Jacob looked, studying my form as often as my face, and he touched my skin only when he was invited to. Also, he had yet to try to kiss or proposition me, as was the highlight of each of Edward's appearances in my life.

No, Jacob was very different from this new version of Edward I was being subjected to. Jake was a nice boy, it seemed. A sweet boy. I enjoyed his attentions.

He even brought me flowers and chocolate before school on my "eighteenth birthday". I was shocked that he'd remembered the date, as I'd made it up when he'd answered me at a Friday night dinner a couple weeks before, but the darling boy had retained the information, making me feel actual guilt for having lied to him. Clearly I wasn't turning eighteen, though the number reflected the age I was posing as in the high school. It also wasn't the date I was birthed into this world by my biological mother, but instead the date when I awoke as I am now—a vampire.

The guilt disappeared almost as quickly as it arrived, being that I had no choice in the matter, of course. I lied when necessary to help my Coven. That was that, and I'd never regret protecting any of them.

"These are extremely fresh," I remarked of the delicate wildflowers he'd gifted me with. "I wasn't aware that any Forks florists were open at such a ghastly early hour as this."

He smiled back at me, a faint pink visible only with eyes such as mine on his dark cheeks. "I, uh, picked them myself from the neighbor's yard before we left this morning," he admitted, embarrassed by his need to please me, which was unacceptable, of course.

"And you wrapped the present yourself?" I asked, remembering the awkward corners of the paper and how very much tape was on the package. "Thank you," I told him before he could answer, wrapping my arms around his middle in a quick hug. He was very warm, and smelled wonderful. I'd have to go hunting in the city soon if I wished to have longer physical contact with him in the future without being hit with temptation.

When I let go he was smiling widely and his blush could have even been seen by humans such as himself. He was an adorable human, and obviously enamored by me. I relished the fondness he had for me.

Just to please my human pet, I opened the package of candy. The bitter dark chocolates and sweet caramels assaulted my senses unpleasantly. Jake's warmth smelled much better than these chocolates, but if I wanted to keep up the human facade with him, I'd have to sacrifice _something_.

I ate one piece, smiling up at him as if it were delicious. He beamed back down, happy that I appreciated his gift. It didn't see like such a sacrifice any more, even though his blood would have tasted much better than the chocolate.

He walked me to class, and I didn't see him again until I exited my last lesson before lunch.

"So what are you going to do today, now that you're a legal adult and all?" he asked as he escorted me to the cafeteria.

"Hm... I don't know. Buy a pack of smokes maybe? Some scratchers? Get a tattoo?" I smirked in response, baring my teeth pleasantly. He tried to laugh through the stunned thrall I had him on, much to my amusement.

He shook the feeling off, smiling at me. "I can just imagine you getting a tattoo—maybe right on one of those sexy hipbones of yours."

"Really?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow, stopping in the quickly emptying halls. "This one?" I asked, lowering my jeans on one side to reveal the skin. "Or this one?" I continued, baring the other side for him as well. I didn't speak about what I knew to be one his mind with that much skin exposed to him, letting him decide for himself if he thought I was wearing underwear or not. Which I wasn't, of course. Whatever answer he had decided for himself, I saw his adam's apple bobbing heavily as he reflexively swallowed.

"I'd have to think on that one," he murmured, his hands drifting just above my skin, not touching me with my express permission, just as I knew he wouldn't. He was very polite, and I appreciated that almost as much as the feel of his warm body so close to mine.

"Hm, well, I have to decide where before I visit a tattoo parlor," I replied in the same tone, pushing his hands onto the skin. And perhaps even encouraging his fingertips to _just_ barely slide inside the denim.

"Oh?" he asked, his deep voice much higher pitched than was usual. I stifled the urge to chuckle at his unsure expression as his hands lightly caressed the bare flesh, a fact that he had to have noticed as his nimble fingers got a little braver.

"Bella," he began, cutting himself off. I don't think he really knew what to say, the poor boy.

"Not now, Jacob, we're in the halls!" I chided him playfully, removing his hands and giggling at his shocked expression as I made my way into the full cafeteria... leaving him staring in shock at me as I walked away.

I saw him enter the room a few moments later, staring at me the whole way as he worked his way through the lunch line and then over to his group of friends. I _really_ pretended not to notice him, rather than playfully avoiding his gaze as I usually did; mostly just because he was trying so hard to get my attention.

"You know it's not nice to tease the humans," I suddenly heard in my ear and an arm around the back of my chair. "Acting like you'll give them something they'll never deserve... can never have. It's not nice."

I wanted to throw the table, but settled for exhaling an annoyed sigh.

"Leave me alone, Edward," I growled out, knowing he wouldn't. The guys at the table with us chuckled.

"I'm just offering you some friendly advice," Edward began, standing up from his position peering into my blouse to seat himself next to me, pulling his chair far too close for comfort. I scooted away only to have him bring himself closer again. "Humans don't mix well with our kind. It only ends badly, I promise you."

"I'm not mixing, I'm just playing," I snorted in needless defense as I avoided his gaze—I didn't need to explain my actions to _Edward_ of all people. In my quest to deny Edward eye contact with me, I spied Jacob staring at our table curiously. I was willing to bet that he was wondering who the hell Edward was, sitting so obscenely close to me and whispering in my ear.

"Yes, your pet is most assuredly jealous," Edward murmured, a hand coming up to caress my neck. My first instinct was to swat it away, but it looked as if a jealous Jacob was an adorable Jacob. I was excited to hear what he would have to say during our class together after lunch.

"And he has a right to be," Edward continued, not caring about the disgust that must have been expressed on my face. I scoffed. "Bella, he's human. He's inferior to us. You know this."

I didn't argue, because that much was true.

"And you know what being with me can be like. Don't you want to repeat the experience?" he whispered.

"Not. One. Bit," I told him with a forced smile.

The guys choked on laughter. I'd almost forgotten that they were even there.

"Guess Eddie's not as hot in the sack as he likes to believe," James smirked, intentionally antagonizing him like the idiot he was.

Edward growled as he tensed next to me.

"No, guys. You do _not_ want to fight here," I whispered harshly, mentally gauging what I could possibly do in the form of damage control if a vampire pissing contest broke out in the middle of the crowded cafeteria. I couldn't think of anything that didn't end in a blood bath.

"Then _you_ don't let him talk about such things that he has no knowledge of!" Edward snarled to me as if he actually expected me to defend him.

"Oh, I know all about pleasing ladies," James boasted in an entirely unattractive manner. "Bella included."

I had never regretted a lapse in my judgment more than I did once he said those words out loud. How much of an idiot did he have to be to egg Edward on in such a public venue?

And Edward rose to the challenge in his words, standing up much too quickly for a human, James rising just as fast as they stood face to face.

"Stop!" I whispered urgently to the both of them, glancing around to see if anyone noticed anything amiss.

Edward continued to glare, and James continued to smile smugly. Assholes.

"Go," I told Edward, pushing my way between the two of them as I'd done before, though there was no hint of amusement in me this time. It was a serious matter, so I lowered myself to actually touch Edward's chest as I pushed him towards the exit.

Once we were through the doors he was all smiles at me, his anger left in the lunch room. All that remained was his generally horrible temperament.

"If you wanted time alone with me all you needed to do was ask," he smirked. "You know if you submit to me now, you won't even need to fight in Carnival when it's time."

I hissed in response to the multitude of things he was implying in his seemingly simple statement. And to think that he'd accused James of having secret intentions of prospering at Carnival that night we'd been playing cards... obviously he was only trying to cover up for himself. I was extremely displeased, to say the least.

He glared back at me, a unfathomable expression on his face as he tossed me against a bank of lockers, pinning me there. "I do not appreciate your attitude, Bella," he said venomously. "I wish that you'd just make up your mind and be done with it."

"I have. And I don't like _you_ at all."

"Mm," he said indifferently, accepting an unneeded breath, gulping in the taste of the air around us. "Then why is it that I'm smelling desire on you, my Bella?"

I hissed again, trying to push him away from me, but he was too old, too strong, to move an inch that he didn't want to. At that moment, he didn't want to remove his body from mine.

"Bella?" I heard Jacob call from the cafeteria doors, looking down the hallway at us in shock, just an another suitor of mine had done many years before. _Oh, the memories..._

"Oh, the memories," Edward whispered in my ear, annoying me to no end. "I'm wondering if perhaps you're so turned on as you remember our first time together, yes?"

"If you do smell any desire it would be because of him. Not you. Now disappear, Edward," I spoke scathingly into his ear.

He gave me an unwavering look of disbelief, but backed away from me nonetheless and left the building. Finally.

"Hey, Jake!" I called out to him cheerfully, wondering if my nonchalant attitude would make him ignore what he had just seen. My hopes of such diminished as he approached me warily.

"Who was that?" he asked, his neutral tone of voice failing to mask the slight anger in his eyes. Yes, he was most certainly cute when he was jealous.

"Oh, that was only Edward. He's a non-friend of the family," I said as if his identity didn't matter. If Jake developed an interest in Edward, bad things could happen.

"Non-friend?" he questioned, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"Yes. Anything but y friend," I explained impatiently.

"And does thing mean that the two of you aren't friendly at all, or that you're more than friendly?" he asked, and even I couldn't help but to giggle in reply. Jacob Black was blunt, and it was a new trait that I liked about him. I would be honest with him in return.

"Meaning that he wants nothing more than to be more than friendly with me, but I, however, am never friendly with him," I supplied in answer.

"But you looked mighty friendly with him just a moment ago..." he trailed off doubtfully, his human insecurities eating at him. He wouldn't have any reason to feel inferior if he were a vampire, I thought to myself before shaking the thought away. I would never damn someone the way I had been damned by Edward. I would _definitely_ need to hunt more often to keep such thoughts at bay.

"Trick of the light," I shrugged, leaning back into the lockers again, pulling Jacob closer to me this time. I led his hand to my chest, letting him play with my bare collarbones.

"Hm, the light," he echoed into my ear, leaning his warm body against my own. "But you must understand my dilemma here. What I saw before looked an awful lot like what we're doing right now, and I have the distinct impression in _my_ mind that you might want to be more than friendly with me. Maybe you've been giving him that impression as well."

"Are you implying that I'm a tease?" I whispered back, arching my body into his ever so slightly, sighing a cold puff of air into his skin. Goosebumps rose up.

"Maybe..."

The vulnerable look in his eyes made up my mind. I'd put my pet's worries aside for the time being, and be gracious toward him for his adoration of me.

"Well, rest assured, Jacob Black. My interests in Edward vary greatly from my interests in you."

And so I leaned my neck to the side, baring the skin there to him and letting him decide whether or not he wanted to kiss me there. He did. For a very long time—until he noticed it.

"What's this scar here?" he asked quietly, and I was angry at myself for offering him that side; it was an instinct that I hated.

"It's from a long time ago," I began dismissively. "Practically from another life. I can't even remember where I got it," I added in a lie at the end.

He nodded contentedly at my words and leaned forward to kiss my face. I panicked, such a thing not being part of the game I was playing with him, but also knowing that the game might very well end if I tried to stop him from reaching his mark.

Luckily, the bell rang before he touched my lips.

"We should retrieve our schoolbooks from the cafeteria," I said, pulling away from him.

He nodded numbly, following behind me as I swayed my hips for his benefit. He had a lazy grin on his face when I glanced back at him.

Our game was definitely still on.

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**Carnival. This isn't the first time it's been mentioned, and I'm aware that the idea behind the event hasn't been explained yet. It's not a huge secret or anything, it's just that the explanation for it will be coming later, and Carnival itself will be showcased much later on in the fic.**

**Next chapter we have a very important scene coming up... I know people were wondering how the people of La Push came about their vampire superstitions, after all ;)**

**And other questions, comments, thoughts? Let me know in a review. **

**Much Love,**

**MuffN**


	6. Chapter 6

**We're getting into important stuff in this chapter, now. I know some of you were curious about that group of people who believe in vampires in the area... And we'll have contact with them this chapter. No, this isn't an except repeat of Eclipse, and the details of the story are different so don't skip ahead, lol. And a gentle reassurance to those who have asked: No, Jacob is NOT a werewolf.**

**Longest chapter so far! :)  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, its characters, or the novel Blood and Chocolate. I merely thought that the latter would be higher on the Awesome Scale if it included characters from the former.

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**6.**

"So..." Jake began nervously, clearing his throat in an awkward manner before he managed to work up the courage to continue. "I was thinking that maybe you'd like to hang out after dinner on Friday?"

He phrased it like a question because he truly had no idea how I would respond to his proposal. It was understandable, of course, considering how I always did my best to be aloof with him—it only made him try harder, as witnessed by the fact that as he asked me on this date he was carrying my backpack for me as we walked down the halls to gym.

"Oh?" I returned casually., looking straight ahead. "And why would I 'maybe' like to do that?"

"Well... There's kind of this party type thing down at the beach. I have to go to the thing every year because of my dad," he explained quietly, catching my attention. I wasn't aware that he was still in regular contact with his father after Charlie had taken over custody of him. "I don't really like going to these things because it's basically just a bunch of bullshit storytelling that people like to pretend they actually believe... But I was thinking, uh, maybe if you went with me this time it wouldn't be so bad, you know?"

I had to smile at the boy. The poor human really did like me. I felt as if I should appease him and grant his wish for his adoration—like a queen who smiles down on her peasants...

"No, it might not be too bad. It's right after dinner, you say?"

"Yeah, we'd be heading out pretty much right after. And maybe we would have time to enjoy ourselves on a beach for a little while in the setting sun before the actual thing starts..." he hinted.

I pushed his shoulder much more lightly than I had the ability to do, causing absolutely no damage to his person; he didn't even lose his balance, but the move set the playful atmosphere for my next words.

"Are you trying to be romantic or simply vying for the sight of me in a bikini? Because even if the sun would still be out that late, that doesn't mean the weather is pleasant enough for me to be showing that much skin," I teased as if I wasn't immune to the damage the weather could do to a normal human body.

"Well, maybe I was just trying to be romantic. Walking along the shore at sunset and all that crap," he grinned, but I caught a hint of pink in his naturally dark cheeks, showing the serious nature of his words. _Such a sweet boy..._

"Hm," I pondered aloud as we reached the entrance to the locker rooms. I winked at him and walked inside, leaving him hanging without an actual answer to his quest for a date with me.

I waited just inside the door for a moment before peeking my head back outside again.

"I'll be sure to bring a warm coat to dinner this week," I told him when I saw his form still standing where I left him.

"You do that," he said, grinning maniacally—adorably—at his achievement.

I took the idea of dressing warmly to heart as I prepared to go out into the "cold" weather that evening, bundling myself up in a warm coat as promised along with gloves, scarf, and a hat that made me look even more like an average, cute little teenage girl and less like the tease of a vampire that I was.

I figured that I should try to look nice when I met Jacob's alcoholic father at the party. After all, and I wouldn't want my human pet to be hurt because his vampire had played the wrong part in this facade.

Immediately following dinner he took my hand and led me a beat up looking pickup truck that might have been red in a former life, telling me in a proud voice how he had only just finished rebuilding the engine before dinner. I didn't mention how this explained the grease smudge on his shirt that he hadn't taken the time to change out of. The stain blended in too well with the design on the material for a human to be able to spot it, so I supposed that I shouldn't mind. He hadn't intended to appear anything other than presentable for our dinner and evening out. He'd even washed all traces of evidence off his hands, after all.

He held my hand to assist me into the cab of the truck and I smiled at the kind boy in thanks, appreciative of the manners he was displaying for me.

He started up the truck, cranking on the heater first thing, and I was surprised at how smooth the engine sounded. He had done a very good job in his recent maintenance of the vehicle. I was impressed by his accomplishment, and told him so.

Then I decided that I would have to compliment him more often, since my words pleased him so.

Instead of looking at the scenery rolling by the windows as we headed out, I simply closed my eyes, enjoying the drive and the soft music Jacob put on the radio. Before I knew it we were at our destination, and Jake told me to wait in the car so he could run around and open the door for me. He truly was trying to be as courteous as possible, which I delighted in.

Of course, the piercing tone of my cell phone ringing interrupted us as I smiled at him. I almost hissed aloud at the words flashing across the display: _Edward is calling you... Edward is calling you... Edward is calling you..._

I wondered when the asshole had stolen my phone to program his number inside—and set that awful ring tone for himself... It was a wonder the noise had annoyed me so thoroughly, considering who it was that was calling me.

Rather than hissing (which wouldn't be a human enough reaction for the part I was playing for the event), I swore and put the phone back in my pocket.

"Who was..." Jake began to ask before he trailed off, obviously realizing that the answer to his question wasn't any of his business. I decided to humor him, however, considering how kind he had been to me so far in the evening.

"Edward _fucking_ Cullen," I told him. "And I'm wondering whether or not he's stupid enough to believe that I'll call him back any time soon," I pondered out loud for Jacob's benefit.

I turned my phone on silent when it rang again and didn't pay attention to how many missed calls were piling up.

Jake smiled and took my hand once more, leading me quietly down the slowly darkening beach. The air smelled different in this area and it made my nose twitch uncomfortably, but I stuck it out, pretending that I was enjoying our peaceful walk together. The sun setting over the dark water _was_ a pretty sight, if I ignored the way it blinded me without my sunglasses on.

Soon enough it was only the moon lighting our path, my eyes were grateful to note and he led us back toward the cliffs where he had parked the truck, a distant light illuminating our path. The people gathered around the central light were excited to see him, loving his company as they should, shouting teasing and joyful words at his arrival.

"Jake, where ya been, man?"

"It's been forever, Jacob!"

"About time you showed your face around here, dude!"

I giggled while he gave manly half hugs and pounded fists with everyone we walked by. He put an arm around my waist as he led me through the mass of people, which only caused more hoots and hollers from the people as they parted to let us reach the center of the gathering.

"Aw, look, now he's got a pretty pale face with him!" one of the younger guys shouted playfully, approaching us from his spot next to the fire.

_Fire._ I froze for a fraction of a second as I realized I was supposed to stand next to the wide blaze, but got my composure back fast enough that not even Jacob would have noticed.

The most recent speaker reached our side and held out his hand for me to shake. "I'm Embry Call, the handsomer, funnier, smarter version of Jake. And you are?"

"Bella," I replied without a hint of nervousness in my voice, despite the way I was thinking up scenarios to avoid getting close to the flame—if even one stray ember caught my clothing on fire I'd be reduced to ashes in five seconds flat. "I'm the prettier, shorter, more feminine version of Jake," I returned, taking his proffered hand. He was warm for a human, just like Jacob was.

"Yeah, you're a lot prettier than me. I'm glad," Jake joked, rubbing his warm nose into my neck. It felt nice, so I let him win his pissing contest with his little friend for the time being.

"Ay, you live with them for a few years and suddenly you're making nice with some pale woman?" came a deep voice from behind us. This new voice wasn't teasing, and I wanted to bite him for insinuating that I wasn't of superior quality to anyone present.

Turning around, I saw an older man in a wheelchair. Somehow I knew it was Jake's father, so I bared my teeth... in a smile.

"Bella Higginbothom," I said, offering my hand to him. "Are you Mr. Black?"

"_Chief_ Black," he corrected, taking my hand warily. His eyes widened at the feel of my skin, and I realized the mistake I had made.

He wasn't a Chief of Police like Charlie Swan, he was was a Native American Chief—of the tribe that still believed in their superstitions... The one I was expressly warned to stay away from.

Should I run away? Call Carlisle for a ride? Renee? I almost decided to pick up the next time Edward called, just so I could have an excuse to leave the bonfire. No one would know any better...

But by the look on his face, Chief Black knew exactly what I was and I was alone on his land. How many of the others would recognize me for what I was? What would they do? I took a large step back, removing my hand from his grip, and staring him down. I would _not_ show some petty human my fears no matter what he knew of my true nature.

"Call him Billy," Jacob said from beside me, reminding me of his presence. He had a hard tone as he glared at his father, and I wanted to comfort him, but what would the Chief do? Surely he wouldn't approve of one of my kind being intimate with his son.

"It's very nice to meet you, Chief Black," I said. I would show him respect if he did the same for me. I hadn't known what I was getting myself into in coming here, after all; it was a simple mistake. I nodded my head in pretend deference to him, standing up straight.

"You really can call him Billy," Jacob whispered in my ear, but I ignored him, waiting for the Chief's reaction.

"I didn't know that this bonfire would be on the reservation," I added, as if in awe of the fact. "I'd never been here before."

I smiled widely, still waiting for the Chief to speak again and see if he accepted the accident of my arrival here for what it was.

"It's nice meeting you as well, Bella," he said, and I let out a mental sigh in relief. He would be civil. "I'm glad to meet you on peaceful terms," he continued, glancing at Jacob as part of the ruse of our conversation. He wanted acknowledgment that I wasn't there to hurt anyone, pretending that he was talking about he and Jacob not going at each other's throats.

"Absolutely," I confirmed, and he lowered in head in respect to me as well, a mirror of my earlier move.

"Why don't you kids go sit down, and we'll begin," he instructed, and Jake led me away.

I looked back to see him gesturing wildly to some of the other older people in the group and whispering frantically to them.

"_Do not talk to the girl with Jacob."_

"_What? Why?"_

"_She's a Cold One. I felt her hand."_

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Yes. Her eyes were red when I stared into them."_

"_What can we do?"_

"_Nothing. She assured me that she means no harm in being here and that didn't even know she was coming here. I saw the understanding in her eyes when she realized it. And if this is all a ruse... What can we do anyway? None of ours have matured."_

Matured? What did that mean?

"_I suppose. But I still don't like it. Can we even tell the stories with her here?"_

"_We must. It's tradition. And we cannot ask Jacob to leave without ending the ceremony with us. Especially now."_

The men came to a consensus and I pretended not to have hearing so extraordinary that I had the ability to eavesdrop on their conversation. I nodded at what Jake was telling me, laughing along with the jokes that people told, pretending I was one of them and not incredibly uncomfortable the entire time.

Carlisle had the power to _exterminate_ me for being here. I defied a direct order from the Coven Leader. I could be _killed_ for going to a simple bonfire, if the flames didn't kill me first.

Jacob kissed my neck lightly and was surprised by my cold skin. "We should get you closer to the fire," he suggested helpfully, shifting to stand up from where we sat, a good fifteen feet back from the danger.

"No, I'm fine really," I said quickly, smiling mischievously at him. "I'd prefer to use _your_ body heat to keep me from freezing."

He smirked down at me in return, pulling me in front of him. His legs spread out on either side of me as he cuddled me into the warmth of his body. My human was warm and cozy, and I somehow found myself actually feeling comfortable where I was, even though my life was in peril on more than one front.

He stayed in our little bubble of contentment for only a couple minutes before a throat cleared and everyone quieted down. The main event was about to start.

Chief Black sat in his chair, a regal expression dominating his features as his presence gathered everyone's attention.

"Our tribe has prospered through many hardships, bloomed through blessings given from above, and we've been gifted with abilities to triumph over our enemies time and again."

He paused, cleared his throat, and glanced at me before continuing.

"Sometimes this has been weapons to defend against animals, sometimes it has been great allies to defend against other tribes, and sometimes it has been powers to defend against the monsters that have plagued our people in the past and could come again at any moment."

Jacob leaned his head into my neck to whisper to me. "I'm sorry. This is the bullshit storytelling part. Forget about the crazy in all of it, and just pretend that he thinks it's not real," he said, a fake smile in his voice. This stuff obviously made him uncomfortable, so I patted his hand in reassurance.

Chief Black continued.

"It is important—now more than ever—that we pass our histories down through the generations so our knowledge is not lost. So we know how to defend ourselves again, should the need ever arise."

He cleared his throat once more, though this time he avoided my eyes.

"Once, a great long time ago, our village was in danger of evils none had ever faced before. Many of our people vanished without a strong and so fast that they could only be destroyed in their sleep."

I resisted the urge to laugh. I had an aversion to sunlight, but I certainly had the ability to walk in it... and my kind never slept. I had no reason to believe anything else Billy Black had to say about my kind, considering how wrong he was at giving even the most simple of facts.

Despite my humor, he continued his tale of fiction.

"But these Cold Ones would not die from the usual ways one uses in perishing an enemy. They did not die when their throats were slit. They did not die when they were speared in the stomach. Only fire could destroy the Cold Ones... Fire, and our werewolf spirit animals."

I actually _did_ let out a snort of laughter at that, but it was unimportant considering how half of the teenagers did the same at his words. It seemed that Jacob wasn't alone in thinking that this was all nonsense.

"Our tribe was descended from wolves, and we have since kept them as our spirit animals, using their strength in times of weakness, their cunning in times of distress. They have protected us through the years and we have _become_ them in times of trouble.

"The first merging of Quileute and spirit animal happened when a Cold One attacked one of our greatest warriors, and the warrior invoked the anger of the spirit as his life began to leave him... He burst into fur and muscle, taking the Cold One by surprise long enough to rip him to pieces with his teeth, thus killing him."

An actual smicker escaped me at those words, but I managed to disguise it as a sneeze. I sniffled convincingly for a moment and Jacob kissed my cheek, smiling down at me. I smiled back as he held me tighter, trying to ward off any chill from getting to me. He was such a caring boy...

But did _any_ of them actually think that this was real? Chief Black obviously did, but there were so many inconsistencies with _actual_ vampires... And our supposed arch nemesis werewolves were born from spirit animals after being bitten? Not only had I never heard so much as a whisper of werewolves being real, but I'd lived long enough to stop believing in the existence of anything spiritual.

Billy continued to drone on for a little while, and the night ended with the Chief, his fellow Elders, and Jacob saying a few words over the fire before extinguishing it. It seemed that Jacob _had_ to assist, considering how he would be next in line to be the tribe's Chief once his father passed, much to my surprise. It was fascinating, really—my human pet would run an entire reservation.

As everyone started filing away to their cars, I met Chief Black's gaze and approached him to see what he could possibly have to say.

"I trust that you will not be returning here now that you know where our reservation lies."

I nodded. There was no way I would come back here willingly. Defying my Lord and Leader once was enough for me.

"And I trust that you learned how well equipped our people are to defend against your kind if you _were_ to try anything."

I wanted to scoff in return, but nodded instead. He raised an eyebrow at me in inquiry, seeing through my facade as no one else had done so far.

"Let me tell you a secret, Chief," I whispered to him, gathering the attention of his Elders as they stared in awe and fright as a "Cold One" had her teeth so close to their Chief's neck. "Vampires don't sleep. And we do not fear the sunlight. Remember that for your next telling and then maybe I _might_ believe in your werewolf theory. Details are important in retaining your credibility."

"So you do not fear us?" he asked, amusement clear in his eyes.

"No," I replied. "But I also will not cause you harm. I always hunt well outside the borders of the city."

"Fine," he returned, losing his amusement at the thought of me hunting, even if it was well away from his people. "But do not let my boy get too attached to you. I do not want to see him weeping over the loss of a demon."

I couldn't help the hiss I let out at the insult and I was pleased at the flinch I received in return. _No one_ had the right to insult me.

"I do what I wish with my time and spend it with whomever I like, old man," I growled. "I do not appreciate being told what to do, and I _particularly_ dislike being slandered with vicious names."

"I.. I t-thought this was a peaceful meeting," he said, his eyes looking around him. His Elders were too afraid to approach and everyone else wouldn't have thought he was being threatened by a little girl such as myself, so they didn't pay any attention.

"It was. Until you started assuming things. You know what they say about assuming..." I taunted.

"That you make an ass out of you and me?" Jake asked, appearing suddenly at my side with a grin on his face. I copied the gesture. "What were we assuming?"

"Well, I didn't know that you were a big, bad, soon-to-be Chief. Very appealing," I smiled at him, letting him wrap an arm around my waist.

"Eh, not so soon. My dad's still young," he chuckled.

And I couldn't help it. I didn't like being called names, especially by one so inferior to me.

"Well, you never know..." I trailed off, glancing purposefully at Chief Black, knowing he'd understand the threat in my simple words. I saw him shift in his wheelchair. _Good._

"Well, I gotta get you home. Your curfew is eleven, right?" he asked. I nodded. That was the time Renee had invented at dinner earlier in the night. "Good seeing you, Dad. Thanks for being... good..." he said awkwardly, and the Chief nodded.

"I'll be seeing you... Billy," I tossed over my shoulder with a smile and a wink. He shuddered, and I knew that I had done my job. He wouldn't be exposing me any time soon.

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**Who likes seeing Bella being all badass and threatening people? *Raises hand* Lol.**

**And sorry that Edward wasn't in this chapter. He'll be back right as we begin the next one, though, I promise. **

**Any questions, comments, helpful hints? Absolutely NO ONE left a review last chapter... And I LIKE knowing what you guys think and what has you curious because I use that information in the chapters afterward. I won't beg for reviews or hold chapters hostage, but know that I like them so I can make chapters better for you all.  
**

**Much Love,  
**

**MuffN**


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter takes place the same evening of the bonfire, just as Bella returns home for the night.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, its characters, or the novel Blood and Chocolate. I merely thought that the latter would be more entertaining if it contained the characters of the former.**

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**7.**

Edward was waiting behind my bedroom door when I got home. The pervert was lucky enough to have seen me strip off my shoes, pants, and shirt before I thought to turn back around and close the door.

"Getting undressed for me?" he asked, the usual smirk on his face very conspicuously absent. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the silk robe from behind his head, draping it around my mostly naked body and tying the sash.

"When did you steal my phone to put your number in there?" I asked rather than inquire why he was there. He'd never given me a straight answer any time before, after all.

"A couple days ago. You smell of the woodsmoke," he observed, leaning in to sniff at my skin.

I turned my back to him and stubbornly pulled a book from one of my shelves, pretending to read it to avoid his questioning.

"What were you doing near a fire?" he continued in a horrified voice. "You know how dangerous that is. One stray ember on your clothing and you could have _died_, Bella. That's very serious..."

"Go _away_, Edward," I told him, knowing he wouldn't listen.

"I was calling you for a reason."

"I'm guessing you're going to tell me what it is."

"Yes. Carlisle has decided that he likes the idea of you living at the main house. We're moving you in tonight." Edward seemed too pleased by this bit of news for it to be an entirely good thing for me. Perhaps because he wouldn't have to travel so far to stalk me? Or was it something more?

"What? Why?" I demanded, wary of this new development.

"First of all, with Carnival fast approaching it would be considered a conflict of interest for you and Renee to live together, since you'll be competing together."

"Women only have the option of competing in Carnival if the male who prospers first is unmated. And I have no reason to _want_ to compete as it is."

Edward scoffed, and then continued. "Second, he misses your company. This is your first time living away from one of our main houses..."

That excuse was more acceptable and I believed it. Carlisle and I had always been close.

"Third, it's been brought to his attention that due to the nature of Renee's relationship with the Chief of Police, you are being unfairly forced into the company of his foster son. Carlisle would like to rectify that wrong."

Seeing where this idea of me moving out had begun from, I hissed darkly at him.

"Fourth, it'd be more convenient for me to drive you to and from school if you resided at the main house."

A low growl started building in my throat. "I don't need you to give me a ride. I'm content with my current situation."

"We at the main house are not. Imagine how much that displeasure will increase when Carlisle hears that you spent an evening around _fire_!"

"I was perfectly safe the whole time! I stayed away from the flame!" I argued loudly.

"You shouldn't have put yourself in that position to begin with!" he shouted back.

"Emmett is going to buy me a car anyway," I mumbled. "You don't have to worry about me riding with the humans anymore."

"Perhaps, but there are still three other reasons, not to mention the unofficial ones."

"Unofficial? What could possibly count as an unofficial reason, compared to the nonsense that you're spewing now?"

"For one, Carlisle approves of you as my mate and he wants us to be living closer together."

I glared in displeasure.

"You'll have to learn to love the main house again when we prosper at Carnival anyway."

My glare was accompanied by another hiss.

"You know, I've been very lenient with you, Bella. I've let you yell at me, push me, hiss at me. Be glad that I haven't taken my anger out on you in return."

"Do it. I'd prefer to have you _hit_ me than hit _on_ me."

"Why?" he asked, and if I didn't know him better, I would have thought he sounded hurt.

"Because you're despicable." A simple question deserved a simple answer. "I haven't found any redeeming qualities in you as of yet."

He growled.

"Come on, Edward. Attack me. Who knows, maybe while you're beating on a girl you'll get to cop a cheap feel, too. That's all you're interested in these days, right?"

He snarled, and the sound was _terrifying._ I did my best to stand my ground in front of him as he glared menacingly.

"What, Edward? You're all talk. What are you going to do if I don't submit? You have no authority over me. Only Carlisle does."

And he reached forward, grabbing me by the throat before I could react. I automatically began gasping for breath that I didn't need, and he clutched me tighter. His grip didn't hurt my vampire body—and probably wouldn't have injured a human one either—but it was shocking and frightening that he would touch me in such a violent manner.

"Know that I don't cherish the idea of hurting or scaring you, Bella, but I _will_ do what I have to. Carlisle has charged me with helping you to move whatever belongings you wish over to the main house. If you'd like, we can only take what you'll need for the night and come back for the rest tomorrow. But do not misunderstand, Bella, because you _will_ do what you are told by me right now."

With that he let go of me and I stumbled back several feet, bumping the back of my knees into my bed and sitting down.

Edward was immediately beside me again, inspecting my neck for damage. He sighed lightly after a moment, deciding that I was fine. Of course I was fine—I was a vampire. I didn't need an air passage anyway. But I was still more frightened of him than I ever had been before.

"Are you ready to obey?" he asked and I nodded, even thought his phrasing irked me. I did not enjoy blindly following orders and Carlisle knew this. It was an understanding we had with each other, and he always explained his wishes to me if I asked. I supposed I'd just have to hunt him down and ask once we arrived at the main house.

I grabbed my school bag and added a change of clothes to it, along with a notebook and a couple novels before heading to my bathroom, grabbing my shampoo and toothbrush because yes, vampires brush their teeth; decaying blood doesn't smell too nice to the average mortal.

I rolled my eyes as Edward's blatant yet silent refusal to leave the room while I put real clothes on and just hurried the act, knowing that it didn't matter. He'd seen me naked before, and at least at this point I was wearing undergarments.

Then Edward was _kind_ enough to escort me out of the house, taking my backpack for me because I'm obviously not strong enough to carry it myself. Yes, I was irrationally—and perhaps rationally, as well—mad at him.

"You know you shouldn't be too pissed off that you won't be getting a ride home from school from your little boyfriend anymore. Our kinds just simply aren't meant to mix," he said in that condescending voice of his as he locked the front door behind me. Renee had been suspiciously absent through the entire affair; I wondered where she was...

"I do believe that you've mentioned such before," I snarled, trying to keep my temper under control and most likely failing entirely.

"Just making sure," he sneered back, actually trying to put a hand on me as we walked to the car. I hissed and batted his hand away.

He growled and grabbed me closer to his side, pinning one of my arms between us and the other down with his hand.

"Down, kitty," he mocked, faking astonishment at my actions. "Haven't you ever heard that you're supposed to obey your elders?"

I hissed again. "Don't call me kitty."

"Would you prefer if I called you my pussy?" he grinned, and I hated myself for not having seen where he was going with his remarks. "You have a choice. You can either be my calm and passive kitty, or my hot and wild pussy. I personally would prefer the second," he added with a smirk.

"Fuck you, Edward. I'm not _your_ anything."

"Yet," he tried to correct me, pinning my body against the side of his car with his own.

I kneed him hard in the groin since my hands were still trapped and he pushed away from me, groaning. I climbed into the car with a smile on my face and he followed after me a second later, suddenly grinning as if I hadn't just assaulted him.

_Why was he smiling?_ I had thought for sure he would attack me again for my impertinence... My thoughts raced.

What does he have up his sleeve...? Maybe he's just trying to mislead me... _Why is he smiling?_

"What's that grin about?" I asked as he put the car in drive.

He smirked wider. "I'm just not feeling so bad about some things anymore."

"What things?" I asked carefully, cautiously. I wondered what traps awaited me in my new home... Hidden cameras for the pervert to watch, maybe? Secret passageways into my closet or under my bed?

"You'll find out soon enough," he said, looking straight ahead. At least his avoidance meant that he wasn't staring at me for once.

"Bella," Carlisle greeted me solemnly when we pulled up in front of the main house. His stoic greeting surprised me more than anything else could have. Where was the amiable welcome I was used to?

"Carlisle," I said, feeling confused as I copied his tone.

"Would you like to join me in my study?" he asked. I knew it wasn't a real question.

"Of course," I said, taking the arm he offered me as we walked to the back of the house. Edward didn't follow us, thankfully, and wouldn't be able to hear my questions to Carlisle, who would hopefully contradict his supposed "unofficial reasons" for me moving into the house. The soundproofed room would allow us privacy as no other room in the house could.

"I'm very much disappointed in you right now, my Bella," Carlisle began, surprising me by the pain in his tone.

"Why?" I asked. The raw emotion in those ten words made me feel like I was going to cry, and I was thankful that vampires didn't have that ability.

"You've disobeyed me, my child, when I had always placed so much trust in you..."

I couldn't help but sob at his words. "Tonight?" I asked, wondering if he knew about me going to the reservation.

"Yes," he said simply, looking at me with such desolate eyes.

"I didn't know we were going there," I whispered. "I was so astonished when I found out. How...?"

He let out a dark chuckle. "You know very well that Edward has been stalking you. What made you think that he wouldn't have followed you when you were going out on a date, and objected to it so ferociously?"

I forced a smile on my face. I should have known. No wonder he was so happy in the car after I injured him. I would be punished regardless of what he did in retaliation, so he just hurried us back here. But what would the punishment be?

I was very afraid of what would come next when Carlisle continued to speak.

"A date with one of the people you were explicitly told to stay away from," Carlisle added, and I met his gaze.

"I didn't know until tonight," I told him, trying to show him with my eyes that I was telling the truth. I hadn't meant to disobey him so blatantly...

"I believe you, my dear," he said. "But I can no longer trust your judgment. When would you have told me about this? Were you planning on keeping it a secret?"

"I hadn't decided," I admitted to him. "When I first realized my mistake, I almost called you right away to have you pick me up... It wouldn't have looked very human for me to run away; it was kind of a long drive..."

"Then why didn't you call me? I would have come to get you. You know this," he pleaded for understanding.

"I don't know... I wanted to try to work it out on my own because their Chief recognized me for what I was when I shook his hand. That was when I realized it, too."

"What happened when he discovered the truth?" he asked in a monotone, sitting up straight and staring intently into my eyes. Carlisle was all business now; exposure was at risk.

"I was diplomatic. We were polite to each other, and after I assured him of my lack of knowledge and that I came in peace, he invited me to stay for the bonfire."

Carlisle sighed in relief. "Thank God..."

I shifted in my seat awkwardly. He raised an eyebrow.

"But then at the end of the night, he insulted me... He dared to command something of me, and he called me a demon," I confessed, though there was no compromise in my voice. I would _not_ be disrespected the way Billy Black had tried to do to me.

He ran a hand through his hair exasperatedly. He knew my past with my anger issues.

"Is everyone alright?" he asked, eyeing me carefully.

I nodded. "I got upset-"

"Of course you did," he interrupted with a sigh before I continued.

"And I might have spoken a subtle threat that I have no intention of following up on. I was merely trying to scare him, and I succeeded. Excellently, if I do say so myself."

"You believe that you frightened the Chief into not speaking of your identity to anyone?" he interpreted and I nodded. "Good. I hate having to clean up messes. But know that we _will_ have to keep an eye on this situation from here on, though, yes?"

I could see that he meant not only the people on the reservation but _me_ as well, since he couldn't trust me not to endanger our whole Coven any longer. I truly _was_ a disappointment to him now.

"Yes..." I trailed off. At least now I knew the real reason for my removal from Renee's home. As punishment, and to keep a closer watch on me.

"And you'll have to let go of the extracurricular time you spend with your human pet. If he even partially believes his tribe's history he'll grow suspicious if you spend more time than necessary with him."

I didn't want to, but I nodded my acceptance. Carlisle was making sense, and this was for the safety of our entire Coven. A human pet wasn't worth all our lives, no matter how much I would miss Jake's cheery disposition and kind eyes.

"Carlisle?" I asked, suddenly remembering the story Chief Black told.

"Yes, my child?"

"Have any Covens settled in this area before us?" I asked, curious.

"Of course. This is the perfect climate for our kind with lots of cloud cover to protect our sensitive vision, and a small population that we can seamlessly fit into."

"And have there been any... problems with the previous Covens?"

"What are you really asking, dear?" he wondered, putting a gentle hand on my own. At least he didn't sound so upset with me anymore.

And so I spilled the story to him: inconsistencies, truths, werewolves and all.

He didn't laugh at my worries, thankfully, and instead thought it all over.

"That seems highly unlikely, of course, but then again so is the very existence of vampires to begin with."

He had a very valid point.

"We must enforce the separation of our species ten fold. We cannot risk the chance that their folk stories may be true and create such a breed. Thank you for sharing this information with me."

I nodded. I was glad in a way that we had this talk, because discussing any fears or uncertainties with Carlisle had always helped soothe me. He was an important mentor to me—part father, part brother, and part friend. I valued his opinion over almost anyone else.

It seemed as if the conversation was over, so I stood up to leave.

"Bella," he called to me when I had my hand on the door handle.

"Yes?" I replied, returning to his side.

"I know you love me, as I love you, and I appreciate how much support you've shown me over the years."

He paused, as if waiting for me to say something.

"Of course. I'd do anything for you, anything you ask," I told him, hoping he heard the sincerity in my words, not doubting them after what had happened that evening.

"I know you would, which is something I'm sadly going to take advantage of right now," he said. There was regret in his voice, but also determination.

"What is it?" I asked, an uneasy feeling creeping over me.

"Well... You know that as vampires, we find few people to love and care for, and those instances are few and far between. Some cannot be replaced once they're gone," he began, his hand seeming to unconsciously come up to touch where his heart no longer beat.

"How long has she been gone?" I asked of his long-dead mate, Esme, keeping a soft tone of voice.

"One hundred and twenty one never-ending years," he spoke just as quietly before clearing his throat. "You were only a year off from being able to meet her—I'm sure you both would have gotten along well."

"Yes," I agreed, not knowing what else to say, or what this had to do with him asking a favor of me.

"Being how Edward is my brother," he began quickly, speaking of the relations our Coven portrayed to the outside world and knowing how I would feel over the mention of his name, "she was closest to him. She took a special interest in him, and in keeping him happy. In one of the last conversations we had, she spoke of wishing he could find the happiness we had shared, and it was her greatest wish for him to find a mate who would love and cherish him in the way she knew he deserved."

I let out an unnecessary breath. I did _not_ like where this conversation was going.

"Now, of course I would never ask you to commit yourself to him in that way right now... but I _will_ ask you to give him a chance. Just talk to him, Bella. Let him try to explain himself. Just once, talk to him without violence, without screaming and running."

"Carlisle..." I trailed off, not wanting to deny his request, but not knowing if I could abide by it.

"_Please_, Bella. Just once. Give him an opportunity to speak his piece, and then decide if you truly hate him as much as you claim to."

I didn't want to agree, but I couldn't say no. Carlisle had always treated me with respect, and had given me almost everything I could have asked for.

I nodded, and he smiled radiantly at me before pulling me into an embrace.

Letting me go, he said, "You're excused to settle into your room now, if you wish. We've set up the one just across the hall from my own."

I nodded once again, pleased with the position I was given. Being housed in the Leader's wing of the house was always an honor, one I had not expected to receive after the way I shamed myself to Carlisle that evening, though perhaps such a room was meant to soften the blow of what he wanted from me.

I exited the study and headed to my new quarters, wondering if Edward had dropped off my belongings yet. And if he had the balls to be waiting in there for me after tattle-telling on me; I hoped not, as I wasn't in the mood to fulfill Carlisle's request just yet.

He had left my sparse items in there and he wasn't waiting for me, for once. I was alone in my thoughts that night, only having myself to detest so thoroughly.

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**A lot of information put into this chapter, and hope for the future with Edward and Bella! Though that doesn't mean anything good will come out of Carlisle's request right away… lol. I hope you enjoyed this, darlings.**

**Much Love,**

**MuffN**


	8. Chapter 8

Yes, it's been a while. Instead of making excuses, how about I just post this for you instead, eh?

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Blood and Chocolate. I only thought that the plot of the latter would be much more interesting with the characters of the former.

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**8.**

Carnival is a very old tradition passed down through the generations. It served to prove that the best of the best thinkers, strategists, and fighters truly were who would be leading our Coven.

It showed our allies just how strong we were, and our enemies just how weak they were in comparison. Every winter solstice our Coven would retreat into the woods and fight it out for the honor of calling oneself the Leader of our revered Coven.

Carlisle had been such a leader for longer than I had walked this earth, and though he would participate in the battles, they were simply for show; it was a given to _everyone_ that no one would be able to lead us as well as he could. Very few men would step into the fight, and they would submit to his skills easily.

No one would step up in the female's round that traditionally would follow the men's fight out of respect to him and his dead mate, Esme. An honorable woman of our Coven wouldn't have so little respect that she could ever accept the role as his companion by winning the second battle when the winner of the first was already mated, whether his mate still lived or not.

It was because of this that I hadn't witnessed a _true_ carnival since I'd turned. There wasn't any bloodthirty ambition driving the first match, and a second match hadn't occurred since before my father's father was even born.

And that was how it was and how it would always be, I had always thought.

And it _was_, until the previous solstice when Carlisle hadn't fought at Carnival.

The festivities went on like normal, a couple of the men wrestling around and play-fighting until Edward was the last man standing... at which point he would bow out to Carlisle, but not this time as he wasn't on the field. Nothing had changed, and Edward hadn't challenged Carlisle for rule after the fight, so I knew that none of us were worried.

There still wasn't a female fight after, and there was still a massive hunting party that left into the woods and heading out to a nearby city to celebrate the holiday. We all laughed loudly, ran with the moon, and sated our bloodlust throughout the night, just as had every year before.

Nothing had changed...

Except that it all had.

There were whispers and pointed glances whenever Edward or Carlisle would enter a room. Appraising looks being given to some of the younger vampires, such as Jasper, who were supposedly being trained up to take Carlisle's place if he ever decided to retire. Would Edward cause problems for them when the time came? Would he submit to their will and accept their leadership as easily as he had Carlisle's?

Would James, who according to Edward had specific plans in regards to Carnival?

Did anyone else have similar thoughts about usurping the power from Carlisle, the man who took care of more than anyone else had in this lifetime?

I sighed at these thoughts, crunching through the underbrush of the forest behind the Main House. Why did everything have to be so confusing? Why wasn't everything just black and white, no gray areas in between?

Pausing my walking to lean against a tree, my eyes widened to hear the continued footsteps crushing dry leaves and twigs behind me. I let out an exasperated breath.

"Why are you following me, Edward?" I asked point blank before turning around to see him staring at me.

"I have it under good authority that you've agreed to actually listen to what I have to say, so I figured I should make it happen sooner rather than later."

_Fuck._ I'd hoped that I wouldn't have to abide by Carlisle's request so soon... I wanted to be more prepared to receive Edward's words calmly; I did _not_ want it to happen when I was already pissed at him and suspicious of his motives.

Instead of voicing this, I rolled my eyes at him. "Yeah, talk. I'm not going anywhere unless you sexually harass me this time. I owe Carlisle that much."

He snorted, glaring down at the ground, but didn't say anything. I didn't wait long until my impatience with him kicked in.

"Well? Speak. What the fuck is your issue?" I said I'd do this for Carlisle, not that I'd be polite while doing so, after all.

"Watch your language, little girl. Remember who the stronger vampire is here," he growled bitterly at me.

I hissed back.

He let out one more frustrated growl before he forcefully calmed himself down. His shoulders were still stiff as he spoke again.

"I'll be blunt. I want you for my mate, Bella. I chose you for this, and I want you to agree before Carnival. Things will be settled so much more easily if it's done in this order."

"But why the fuck-" I cut myself off in response to his vicious gaze. I _hated_ that he had that effect on me, and that he thought scaring me would get me to submit.

It was doing nothing of the sort, of course, but I decided to rephrase my wording nonetheless. "But Edward... Why now? Why have you been so insistent, _after a hundred and twenty fucking years?_"

Perhaps I couldn't help my language completely, but I figured my second attempt was a vast improvement.

He stared me down for several seconds, but I wouldn't flinch this time. I'd made my compromise by listening to what he had to say, but if he wanted me to take his words seriously, then he would have to answer my questions instead of just speaking at me. He studied me again for a while before saying the words that were obviously on the forefront of his mind.

"Carlisle's time is coming to a close," he said, so casual about the way his words were a betrayal to our Coven and way of life.

I opened my mouth to protest, but he covered my lips with a finger. I was very tempted to bite it off, but knew it wasn't worth his ire; he'd heal in no time anyway and would only be pissed off.

"He accepts this and even welcomes it," Edward continued, trying to explain away his disloyalty to me, "though I'm sure he'd be flattered to hear of your attempted defense. But his rule over the Coven is coming to an end and a new Leader will be determined at Carnival. That Leader will be _me_."

He was so egotistical. Not only was he insinuating that Carlisle wasn't the best choice to Lead us, but he was completely ignoring the fact that it was _Jasper_ who had been shadowing Carlisle for the last year, not _him._

"But Jasper..."

"I don't care what the others say. I don't care about his military background or how good of a fighter they say he is. I will be the one who wins. This is _my_ time, and I won't give up in a fight. I've been Carlisle's second in command for as long as I've been alive. I am third oldest of our kind, only deferring to Carlisle himself and Aro. I will win this fight, Bella."

The news of his lineage surprised me, but not enough to sidetrack the real issue at hand.

"What does any of this have to do with me?"

"I'll need a mate. You know this. Every Leader must have one at the end of every Carnival. We have to carry on the line together."

"But why _me _of all people, Edward? Why are you telling me this now?"

"I'm telling you this because I need you to fight in the woman's battle and prove your place by my side," he said, ignoring my first question of _why_ in all of this. "I do not _want_ any of the others. I want _you, _Bella. Fight for me, Bella. Fight for _us."_

My breath caught in my throat at the intensity of his words and gaze. It was a shame that he'd never given me any reason to believe he was sincere, because of that shocking look in his eyes.

It was a shame he was such an asshole.

"There is no _us_, Edward," I spat at him harshly. "If you don't want to be matched up with one of the other woman, then I suggest that you not fight in the Carnival at all."

"You... won't abide by my wishes?" he asked, his face taking on a stoney mask and his words a dangerous quality.

I shook her head. Who the hell did he think he was drinking if he actually expecting me to give in to advances so readily? Had he learned _nothing_ since he started sexually harassing me?

"It would be best that you do what I wish now. Once I win, you'll want to be on my good side," he threatened. "I will be your Leader and you'll need to do what I say."

"You can't know that for sure. At least if Jasper wins, he won't try to take away my free will."

"So you're saying that you'll fight if _he _wins the first match?" Edward snarled.

"No, I won't. I don't need a mate."

He scoffed, leaning close to me so he could shoot his condescending words directly to my face. "You're only saying that because you're still infatuated with your human pet, but I'll warn you again: it will never work out for you with a human. Our kinds _cannot_ mix peacefully."

"We'll see," I hissed back, getting in his face as well.

He responded by grabbing my face and forcing his lips on mine. I growled and swiped at him until he backed away, a smirk on his face. I was fuming so much I was shaking; I couldn't even summon up any words to lash at him with, instead backing as far away as possible. Maybe if I had more of a chance to react the next time he did that I'd be able to stop it, or at the very least get a couple good smacks in on him.

"You shouldn't even be associating with one of the tribe anyway, Bella. Carlisle's orders..."

I paused in my steps away from him. I hadn't denied his accusation about Jacob, and if he was under the impression that I'd been seeing Jacob since I last spoke to Carlisle, I could get into _serious_ trouble. I could be executed for disobeying those very direct orders—ones that I was given _twice_ already.

But did I want Edward to assume that was my reason for not wanting to be with him? He obviously hadn't accepted my blatant disgust for him, so maybe I should let him stick with that conclusion a little longer... It wasn't as if I disliked the idea of Jacob Black after all. I doubted Carlisle would exterminate me without getting my side of the story first.

"He's not technically one of them," I defended him to Edward. "He hasn't lived on the tribe's lands for years now anyway..."

"But he shares their basic belief system, doesn't he now? You _know_ he has his suspicions about you, Bella. You know, if you don't agree to fight for me at Carnival, then I could always turn you in to Carlisle for disobeying his orders... "

_There it was._

"But if you do that and he eliminates me, then I wouldn't be able to fight for you anyway. It's counter productive."

And... he laughed.

"Right you are, Bella. You're very intelligent. I'm quite glad that I chose you," he said with a wink, stepping closer to me again. He grabbed my hand and placed a quick kiss on the back of it before I could pull away again.

"Asshole," I murmured, rubbing my hand on my jeans like a child.

He raised an eyebrow. "You won't be able to talk to me like that for long. And when I win, I'll be sure to kiss you elsewhere... Perhaps in a place where it would please me to have you rub after? Sound good to you?" he smirked, and I would have blushed at his insinuation if it were possible.

And I was pissed off because I knew that he very well _could_ do that _whenever_ he wished if he won the title at Carnival. Our Coven didn't advocate rape whatsoever, but since neither of us were mated, if I didn't willingly agree to do what he asked, then I wouldn't be welcome in the Coven anymore. I would be executed if I didn't exile myself.

A Leader's rule is always unquestioned, otherwise his power wouldn't be deemed absolute. Other Covens would see this as a weakness and challenge us.

Such a thing has happened in our history, I've been told, so in theory I understood the principle behind this practice of not being able to defy a Coven Leader's order. In theory.

But now I REALLY hoped that Jasper would win. Or even James. I could handle James sexually harassing me because I knew he didn't mean anything by it. He could grab me or stroke me or stick his tongue down my throat, but I always knew that it really meant nothing. Victoria has been over the moon for him since he was changed a couple decades ago, and he wasn't stupid enough to mate with anyone other than her... She was too vindictive to allow such a thing.

Yes. I would hope that James would kick Edward's ass.

So that he wouldn't force me back onto mine.

"I _will_ win, Bella. And I'd much rather have you as my mate than simply my consort. You deserve more respect than a position like that. But I will have you either way as long as you remain with this Coven."

He didn't need to voice his next words aloud: _And you have nowhere else to go..._

Then his voice dropped to a whisper—actually pleading with me, if I thought that were possible. "The Leader's orders _must_ be obeyed, Bella, as long as you choose to remain in the Coven. It means _death_ otherwise. A Leader _must_ enforce their rule to prevent chaos."

I sighed, knowing I had time to ponder if I hated Edward enough to prefer to die than be with him. I knew from experience that I'd never survive outside of the confines of our Coven, after all, so leaving couldn't ever be an option for me.

I just hoped that I'd never have to make that decision.

"Please, just go away, Edward."

Next thing I knew I was flat on my back in the dirt, Edward on top of me. My eyes widened in actual fear. He wouldn't do anything, would he? He'd be banished or exterminated for forcing himself on me. He wasn't the Leader yet and had no right to even _think_ he could do something like this!

"Relax, love," he whispered in a venomous voice. "I'm not going to force anything... Just remind you what you're missing out on..."

And he leaned over and softly bit into my neck, my flesh just barely yielding to his sharp teeth. I couldn't help the moan I let out. Bloodletting was always such a sensual experience, even if you didn't like the one taking your blood.

His venom slowly worked into my veins as my blood flowed out, the euphoria of the poison entered my system, acting as a natural aphrodisiac. I moaned again and one of my hands pushed roughly into the back of his head, pressing his lips harder against my neck. He responded by clamping his teeth down rougher than before and I gasped, my hips thrusting up into him.

I led one of his hands to reach down into my jeans and couldn't help but rock into his waiting fingers as they worked me into a frenzy, all while he sucked softly at my neck.

"Edward... Oh my god, more..." I whispered into his chest, my hands automatically reaching down to his own jeans and unzipping the folds. I needed him inside me—completing me, completing the experience of it all.

He was hard when I first touched him, and I both felt and heard him moan into my neck when I pressed my hand firmly against his flesh. The hand of his that wasn't working me over crawled up my back and helped us into a seated position that allowed me to straddle his legs and rub myself against him fully. And it still wasn't enough.

"Edward, Edward, help me take these off," I whispered frantically, feeling a slight discomfort when I tried to pull away to do so myself. Bloodletting was absolutely and _uncontrollably_ sexy, but it was still a bite wound and me pulling away at the wound _would_ hurt if my skin ripped more... once out of the moment, that is.

My hands were shaking at my hips as I tried to shimmy out of the denim when his hands covered mine, adding to my irritation with his lack of assistance—and the fact that his hand was no longer bringing me pleasure.

"Touch me, Edward, please..." I gasped into his ear in frustration, pushing my chest against his. He unclenched his teeth from my neck, leaving me panting and wanting to beg him to put them back... only to have him rip open the buttons of my blouse, re-latching onto my left breast, one hand supporting the side he attacked. I pulled his other hand up so that he could caress my right breast with attention as well.

I was still frantic to relieve my desire, even more so at the new way he was biting me now, so I slipped one of my own hands inside my pants, gasping at my own touch coupled with his teeth now. I imagined my fingers as his hard dick, which I could still feel pressing insistently into me through the layer of my clothing.

His hand seemed to grab almost automatically at mine, pulling it out of my jeans, the fucking asshole.

Yes, even as I was desperate for him, I still knew he was an asshole.

"Stop it," I rasped at him. "If you won't fucking touch me then I'll do it myself," I told him, fighting to free my arm.

I felt him shake his head "no" at me slightly and I let out a soft, feminine sounding groan at the feel of the skin stretching around his teeth, giving up the fight temporarily to hold his head to me.

"Edward... Edward..." I couldn't say more than his name.

And he released me. "I'm not going to have sex with you just because you're high, Bella," he told me, but I could hardly make out his words. I was staring at the blood on his lips, and then at his tongue as he licked them clean.

I shook my head to clear it and try to comprehend what he was saying. It didn't help that he spoke the words into my breasts, licking up the excess blood from my already healing wounds.

And then it sunk in what had happened. Edward fed off of me, in turn _tricking_ me into wanting him sexually. To prove his damn point.

"Fuck you," I spat at him, pulling my blouse back together, glad that I chose to wear black that day so the blood wouldn't become a visible stain. I swiped at my neck, trying to get the blood from there as well. What would people think if they saw me like this?

"Here, let me," he said softly, leaning into my neck to cleanse the area. I let him, because I didn't really have much of another choice.

"I'll kill you if you tell anyone about this," I warned him as I stood up, suddenly overwhelmed by my blood loss. I'd need to feed, and soon. I hoped that I'd be able to make it home—we kept an emergency supply at hand at the Main House.

He held out his wrist to me. I looked at him warily. "You need blood. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take so much, I was just... overwhelmed by you."

I looked at his vein warily. My mouth watered at the sight, knowing what was just below the skin...

"No," I told him. "Like I'm going to let _you_ become the sex maniac this time. You're stronger than me," I said with a roll of my eyes.

He did the same in return. "Yes, I'm stronger. It's because I'm several centuries older than you. I think I can control my baser instincts long enough for you to be able to make it home without incident."

I doubted his words, but figured what the hell. I needed the blood. He owed me.

And my nether regions were still aching and wanting, so if he DID attack me, at least I'd get more than blood out of the deal and I could still blame him for it after. It was win-win.

I took his proffered arm and held it up to my lips, breaking the skin hard and fast, quite the opposite of what he'd done to me. I'm certain it didn't feel any different in the euphoria he was undoubtedly feeling, but it was the thought that counted, right?

And he immediately let out a soft groan. I hated the man, but I had to admit that the sound was sexy. I berated myself for not thinking of biting him while he was draining me; surely that sensation added on to the blood he was already consuming would have gotten him to submit to my earlier desires.

One of his hands seemed to almost instinctively come up to caress my side as I drank. I shot him a look that he couldn't have missed; he was watching my face, after all.

"I'm fine, I promise. I won't attack you again today... just let my damn hands touch you so I don't touch myself, okay?" he snapped, but I could hear the strain in his voice. I didn't argue, and just enjoyed the feeling of the warm blood soothing the ache in my throat, and filling my system wondrously. I didn't think of him masturbating right in front of me at all. Really.

But I glanced down and saw that he was _more_ than pitching a tent... He had the damn Eiffel tower erected in his jeans, and I wanted to moan in response. But that was what he wanted, so I settled for twisting his arm to get a better angle for a freer flow. It didn't have anything to do with the way this new angle bent his arm so it was brushing against my still bare chest. Really.

And I wasn't in denial about any of it. These slight stirrings of want were only leftover feelings from his venom that was still in my system.

"Bella..." he whispered softly, his hand moving to rub up and down my back, almost affectionately, so I took that as my cue to stop. I was sated enough to get home without killing any passerby.

"Wow..." he said simply, lying back on the ground, his breathing heavy and a serene smile on his face. "Just when I thought it was impossible to want you more, you drink from me and prove me otherwise."

His grin might have been infectious if I wasn't still so pissed off at him for tricking me.

"I fucking hate you so much," I told him as he licked at his wrist, getting the excess blood as the small wound closed up.

"Don't I know it," he sighed... "But you have to admit. That was the best you've ever had, wasn't it? No one has _ever_ felt that good during bloodletting."

I growled at him and sprinted off through the woods. I'd _never_ admit that to him.

Even if it were true.

"It's because we're meant to be!" his voice rang out through the trees as I ran, ignoring his words as best I could.

* * *

Thanks to IcelandGirl812 for looking over a rough patch for me.

Your thoughts, my dears?

Much Love,

MuffN


	9. Chapter 9

**Long time, no see, friends. No excuses, just life. Here is a new chapter FINALLY. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the novels Twilight or Blood and Chocolate... or the characters within either. I merely thought the plot of the latter would be better with the characters of the former :P**

**WARNING: There is violence in this chapter. I know some people like reading these things even less than I like writing them, so here is your warning.  
**

* * *

We were all gathered. This Carnival would be unlike any I had ever witnessed. It wasn't just tradition, but an all-out battle to truly determine who the next Leader of our coven would be. The tension was thick in the air.

"Finish your preparations, boys!" Carlisle called out, acting as referee for the match.

I took a deep breath and turned to look for my boys. James, Jasper, Garrett, Emmett... I wanted to wish them all luck, knowing how much better life would be if one of them won. Especially if one of them won over Edward.

And as they say, _Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear._

As my eyes roved the crowd, someone roughly grabbed my arm, and I was thrust back into Edward's chest.

"Don't I get a kiss for luck?" he asked with a grin, and I pushed uselessly against his chest to get him to go away. He just _couldn't_ win. Life as I knew it would end if he did.

"No," I snarled, slapping his face. The noise drew the attention of the people near us. We had an audience. Great.

He growled angrily at me in response, and harshly bit into my neck in retaliation. Asshole.

I managed to hold in the moan that wanted to come forth, but couldn't help the way my hands gripped onto his back at the feeling, wrinkling his shirt and pushing us impossibly close together. He was getting hard already.

He sucked deeply from me in his agitation and lust, and my nails sunk into his back, ripping small holes in the shirt he wore. My left leg lifted from the ground slightly, almost wanting to wrap itself around Edward.

He seemed to sense that, and lowered a hand to bring it up and over his hip, high enough to leave my other leg balancing on my toes as he instinctively sought the right height and angle for penetration, the clothes on our bodies be damned.

I flexed my leg where it sat neatly bent at his hip, and he lightly thrust at me in response, before he released my neck and dropped my leg. I pushed away from him as hard as I could, and he stumbled back a few steps. I hissed violently, actually feeling the hair on the back of my own neck rising up at the sound. It was vicious, and therefore it infuriated me when he chuckled at it.

He just blew me a mocking kiss as he backed away.

I automatically swiped at the hand that went around my shoulders, but halted the action when I saw that it was only Garrett.

"Let me clean that up for you, honey," he told me softly, gesturing to the bloody mess Edward had left on my neck.

"Thank you," I told him quietly, titling my neck to the side to give him more room.

And next thing I knew, it was Edward lapping at my neck again, and Garrett was sprawled on the floor a couple feet away, looking incredibly pissed off.

"What the hell?" I told him, pushing him away again, not enjoying the smug look on his face.

"That's my job. No one else is allowed to have your blood," he replied as if the answer was obvious.

"Fuck you," was my eloquent response.

"Don't worry, sugar," Jasper said, suddenly in front of me, separating Edward from me with his body. I was grateful. "We'll be sure to kick his ass in a moment. And then he won't be allowed within fifty yards of you again."

"Sounds perfect to me," James said, insinuating an arm around my waist. I leaned into his side just to spite Edward, who began growling lowly at the sight.

He took a step forward, probably to try and mark territory that wasn't his again, but Emmett appeared behind him, placing a heavy hand on his shoulder.

"The fight isn't over a girl while on the sidelines," he said, before jerking his head over his shoulder. "It's on the field. Come on."

My boys and Edward slowly walked away from me and while I was thankful for their protection, we had made a huge scene. The women were glaring at me, even though they knew I wasn't planning on joining their fight later on.

And Edward turned back to me, snapping his teeth and leering and I wanted to rip his head off his shoulders. Maybe someone would do that for me in their fight.

As I watched the men take their places, I was keenly aware of just how different this Carnival was from any I'd ever witnessed before. There were no smiles, pats on the back, encouragements... Instead all I saw were steely glares and blank faces, aggression and tension. It was the first time in centuries when no one knew in advance what the outcome of the battle would be.

It was terrifying.

Carlisle would be officiating the event, not even ceremonially participating this year. It seemed that Edward wasn't lying about Carlisle willingly giving up his power, at the very least. He wouldn't exclude himself so fully as judge if he had any plans to retain his Leadership. This didn't mean that I would support Edward as his replacement, but it did mean that Edward wasn't being completely dishonest with me. A surprise to be sure.

All the women and the men not participating stood along the treeline as the contenders placed themselves around the wide clearing, fists clenched and legs braced shoulder length apart. Waiting.

Carlisle cleared his throat and they all stood just a little taller, a little straighter. I could feel the power emanating from each of them, and knew how the fight would turn out. From the looks exchanged across the line of spectators, we could all feel the same thing.

I took a step back to begin my flight before his victory was made official when Carlisle's voice resounded through the clearing.

"You may begin."

And then I couldn't bring myself to leave.

Edward turned around and caught James in mid-air by the left arm and leg, propelling my friend's torso to the ground. He stepped on his stomach and pulled violently up, ripping off the arm and leg he held. James' scream lasted longer than it took for Edward to accomplish the task.

Edward tossed the bleeding limbs across the clearing and into Jasper's back. He stumbled upon impact, allowing Emmett to swipe him across the face, sending out a small spray of blood before the wound began to close.

My eyes flew back to Edward when I hear him roar in pain. Garrett had managed to sneak up behind him and was biting hard into his neck. Edward reached behind himself and sunk his claws into Garrett's back, ripping long gashes through both clothing and skin. Garrett howled and released his prey, realizing he was no longer the predator in the situation as Edward growled and tensed his legs to pounce.

I knew there was a lot more action going on, but I could only focus on the rigid position Edward held right before he leapt at Garrett and ripped at him with his nails until Garrett stopped moving. Garrett, the kind, sweet friend of mine who was saving his virginity for his mate. I knew logically that he wasn't dead, but paralyzed in a sort of hibernation until blood could be pumped into his system, but it still felt like a loss. I wanted to cry.

Another sparring pair bumped into Edward as he looked down at Garrett's lifeless form, reminding him that the competition wasn't over yet. He turned to the man who bumped into him, Jasper, slamming his fist into the back of his skull as Emmett pummeled him from the front. Together the two of them finished off the talented fighter that was Jasper, too strong an opponent for either to beat on his own.

Emmett had a bite wound on each side of his neck and four long ashes running down one of his arms. He looked tired. Edward would finish him off in a minute, I knew, and I stared at the two of them intensely, waiting for yet another of my friends to fall.

But Emmett didn't fall to Edward's prowess. Instead Edward nodded at Emmett in acknowledgment before they bumped fists and stood back to back, fighting off opponents from both directions.

Emmett was teaming up with Edward? I knew they were friendly, but from what I'd heard, alliances were rare during Carnival. Sure, there was the one that existed between Edward and Carlisle, but that was because Edward accepted Carlisle as his Leader. And defended his position.

Emmett was securing his place as Edward's second in command, trying to get on his goo side. He had obviously felt what I did as the battle began, and knew that Edward would come out as the victor. If Emmett didn't fall by the time it was only he and Edward left on the field, he would bow out, forfeiting the title as Edward usually did to Carlisle.

There was more blood. More violence. I couldn't stand to see more of it, but I couldn't bear to look away, needing to see the outcome with my own eyes.

It seemed like forever until the last limbs stopped twitching, ragged breathing halted, and only one man was left standing. Forever wasn't long enough before life as I knew it, the world I had erected for myself, ended.

Edward had just won, and he looked very much worse for wear. Deep circles shadowed his eyes, several wounds still bled freely, and a wild look distorted his features, like he was still waiting for enemies to snap at him and tear him to pieces.

He caught the blood bag thrown at him from our place at the edge of the clearing, no one daring to approach him just yet to hand it to him. He downed the contents instantly, but the look in his eyes was anything but quenched.

Carlisle was the bravest of us all, being the first to step into the clearing. He walked tall and proud to Edward's side and put his hands on his successor's shoulders, whispering something in his ear so quietly I couldn't hear. Edward's tense shoulders dropped and he took in a deep breath, his eyes opening and scanning the ground, assessing all the damage done.

The announcement is made, and several go to check on his wounded counterparts, lying and bleeding in the grass. Blood bags and IVs are distributed so our fallen brethren could rejoin us.

After a while I regained the ability to move so I joined the others in the resurrection process, but Edward grabbed my arm as I passed him. He looked at his hand in shock as if he hadn't meant to grab me, a second half empty blood bag in his hand that he tossed aside as if it disgusted him. He wouldn't release the grip on my arm, and now he wouldn't stop staring at me with a determined look on his face.

Was he really going to make his first order as Leader to have me fight? I wanted to roll my eyes in response because that was one thing no one could demand, but I was truthfully terrified of him... The carnage he displayed in front of us was horrifying.

"Edward," I heard Renee gasp out from behind me. She ha obviously seen the look in his eyes as well.

"It's fine, Renee," he told her, and his calm voice belied his fierce expression. "I just need a pick me up to restore my strength. I'll be right back with Bella to judge your fight."

He didn't wait for a response, instead sprinting through the woods, practically dragging me behind him.

"Edward, stop it!" I tried to tell him, but he just ran faster until we were about a mile away. He let go of my arm so suddenly that I fell to the ground. He was on top of me immediately. "Edward," I began warily. He was really frightening me.

"Don't tell me what I can't have," he spoke darkly. "I'm your Leader. You can give me what I want, or I can take it. And I want your blood. Nothing tastes as satisfying."

I closed my eyes and bared my neck to him. He paused before succumbing to his desire.

"Thank you,"he said softly, the last of his battle-hardened exterior falling away.

I didn't respond, instead just letting him bite deep into my skin. I shuddered at the feeling, and grasped onto his back as best as I could, his shirt long torn away in his battles for his position. He had a very strong back, I noticed, and in my current state of mind, I loved touching it.

I gasped out loud at the first pull he took of my blood and pushed myself into him more thoroughly, even going so far as lift a leg and hitch it over his hip right away.

"Edward," I let out in a breath, and he used the hand that wasn't supporting my neck to grab my leg, holding it tightly against him. He flexed my leg out as I had done earlier, then up, then in, setting a rhythmic pace to his light thrusting that went along with the gentle pulling at my neck.

This seemed... softer... than the last time he had forced me into this position, and I followed his lead, slowly lowering my hands down to his belt buckle, pulling the leather from the strap.

"Edward, please," I whispered to him, removing him from his slacks and massaging him lightly. He groaned into my neck. I used my legs to shimmy his pants the rest of the way down his legs, and I was satisfied when he kicked them off. _Finally._

I pushed my hips into his, and he let out a groan, but didn't move to do more. Damn evil asshole vampire not giving me what I wanted.

I lifted his hand from my leg lightly and brought it up to my mouth, biting down on his skin before he could figure out what I was doing. He moaned into my skin again and automatically thrust his hips up, finally connecting us. Little did he know that I hadn't put any underwear on under my dress that morning, I thought smugly.

Perhaps I had assumed this would happen, and thought ahead.

His surprise caused him to let go of my throat. "Bella!" he gasped in surprise as I rocked my hips underneath him.

I rolled my eyes and simply leaned up, biting into his neck, now that I had the opportunity for a better vein. He groaned and sat up, pulling me with him. I had my arms around him still and he was still inside me and it felt so amazing and I gasped at it all. Sex with bloodletting always felt great, but this seemed especially good, probably because I'd denied myself for the last couple years. I rocked my pelvis slowly into him in response.

He held my hips tightly for a moment, groaning at the feeling, before he gently put a hand on my throat, leading my mouth away from his skin.

I looked him in the eye, knowing that if neither of us began feeding in the next moment, then the feeling would pass, and I'd remember to hate him again before we finished.

"Edward," I pleaded with him, hoping he'd understand. He looked into my eyes for a couple seconds longer, and then nodded.

"Allow me," he said, almost courteously, and slid his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him gently. He nosed the material of my dress to the side, exposing the top of my breast, and bit down softly. I moaned, not knowing if I should push down on his hips or up into his mouth. He decided for me, beginning a rhythmic pace under me, bringing me both feelings as I got closer and closer to the end.

And then I was there, and I was touching him frantically, looking for an artery or vein that was within my reach, and he lifted his arm to me again, and as I came I bit down hard enough to sever his hand if he were merely a human, feeling the delicious blood flow through my mouth as I did so. _Heavenly_.

I felt Edward explode inside me at the same time that he clamped his jaw down into my breast and I came again at the feeling that brought me.

I wanted to gasp, I wanted to moan, I wanted to scream... So I just let go of Edward. He immediately released me and I backed away, knowing what had just happened.

I smoothed the skirt of my dress, holding the top part away from my skin so my blood wouldn't stain the yellow color until it dried and maniacally rubbed my legs together. I'd never escape the fight now; his scent was all over me. I'd have to either fight to win my place by his side, or die at the hands of those who actually wanted it.

He approached me slowly and leaned his head to the wound on my neck. I didn't like the idea of him licking me, but I knew it had to be done so I let him, just as I had when he approached me before. Once that wound was clean, he lowered his mouth to my breast and mopped up his mess there as well, positioning the material back into place afterward so he could cop a cheap feel.

Then he leaned his neck to me expectantly.

I rolled my eyes as I stood on my tiptoes and grabbed onto his shoulder for support, pulling myself up to get to his wound and consuming the excess blood that had dripped from there. He offered his wrist to me, but I shook my head. I didn't like the intimacy of the act in general and he could reach that one for himself.

"Whatever," he grumbled, pulling his arm up to his face as we walked back, me keeping several feet between us after he tried to wrap his arm over my shoulders.

"You know you have to fight now, right?" he asked me in a quiet tone. If I didn't know him better, I would have thought he wasn't trying to demand it of me.

I shook my head stubbornly even though I knew the truth.

"It's your fault for not wearing any damn underwear. I had it under control until that happened."

I hissed in response. "Don't blame me. As if that's not what you've been wanting the whole time."

He growled at me in a threatening manner. "Don't _you_ talk to me like that. I told you before that I wouldn't have sex with you just because you were high on a bite; I have more respect for women than to take advantage of them like that."

"Oh? Then what do you call what you've been doing to me if it isn't taking advantage?" I asked, though in a soft voice. I didn't want to feel his wrath.

"I call it... convincing. You must admit that I've been nothing but a gentleman when taking your blood."

"Yes, forcing me onto the floor and sucking at my tits while you thrust your dick against me is very gentlemanly," I snarled lowly.

"Hey. Stop. Look at me."

I did, shaking slightly with my anger.

"I have _never_ touched you inappropriately. I have _never_ tried to take any pleasure from our encounters other than your blood ever since the night you moved into the Main House and pointed out to me how cheaply I'd been treating you. And I have _never_ tried to force my physical self against you. That has all been _you,_ Bella. You're the one that's always trying to get my dick inside you when we drink from each other, and _you're_ the one that _begs_ me to do more, but I have _never_ done anything that you specifically haven't taken my hand and led to me to do. This is all on _you_, Bella, so if you're going to be pissed off at someone, it should be yourself."

I growled at him, knowing he was right. I had purposely gone without my underclothes, after all. Hoping for this, deep inside.

And now I was pissed off because I got it? That doesn't speak very highly of me. I looked down in guilt, resignation, and anger at myself.

"Look at me," he commanded again, and I did so.

"What." It wasn't a question.

"Agree. Do it now. Tell me you're my mate."

"No."

"Bella, this is your last chance. If you don't commit now, they'll tear you apart in the fight," he practically begged. Had he planned this after all?

"No," I shook my head stubbornly. I would never agree to be with someone who was so manipulative. Let them rip me to shreds. If I healed, then Edward would be forced to be with someone else. If I didn't then I'd never have to look at him again and know the truth.

"Fine," he spit out harshly before he took a calming breath, continuing softly. "It won't be a fight to the death. I'll pull you out if you're in trouble."

I raised an eyebrow at him. What was he saying?

He rolled his eyes at me and shifted awkwardly where he stood. "Don't look at me like that. I know that you don't want to be part of this, but now you are. I'm just trying to be nice and tell you that I won't let them kill you, alright? You have nothing to worry about."

I nodded at him, grateful, though not willing to admit it. We ran back to the group.

Low whistles, catcalls, and snarls met our arrival.

Renee grabbed me by the arm the moment I returned and dragged me away from the group. "Are you crazy?" she hissed. "You just put a target on your head! What were you thinking, trying to mark territory before the fight? Now everyone will be gunning for you first!"

"I have no intention to fight," I tried to tell her.

"Like hell. Then you shouldn't have tried to mate with Edward right before the start," she snarled, and I could tell that she was upset with me, even as she tried to protect me. Renee was joining the fight, after all. "Go," she said, pushing me forward and into the open grass.

I looked at her incredulously, and tried to walk back to the spectators area.

Lauren pushed me back into the grass, snarling viciously. I stood up quickly and tried to back away, but was pushed again from behind. I was surrounded.

I turned around wildly, trying to find an exit, only to meet Edward's eyes from his position off to the side. "Just say the word," he mouthed to me, and I nodded, opening my mouth to claim my forfeit when a scream met my ears.

I whipped my head around to see Renee trying to fight off Maggie, who had probably lunged for me. Renee was mad, but she was still trying to protect me. I loved her. I had to help her.

I dove in front of her, surprising Maggie just long enough to get a good swipe in across her face, splashing the first blood of the women's battle across the ground.

She growled at me, and then it was utter chaos, limbs fighting over limbs, nails raking through skin, clothes shredding, and high pitched screams filling the air as I fought to protect Renee from all these women.

She fell, maybe three minutes in, and I stood protectively over where she breathed in useless breaths, trying to fight the pain. I attacked anyone who came near her resting place as she recovered.

And before I knew it, I was the last one standing. I had... won.

I hadn't wanted to even fight, and I won.

I collapsed onto my knees in the red grass, trying not to sob, when I felt cloth being placed over my shoulders. I looked up, seeing Edward wrapping a large shirt around my shoulders. I hadn't noticed when my dress had been ripped away in the battle, and I felt suddenly modest, wrapping the material around myself quickly before beginning to button it up.

I stood up quickly to back away from the hand he had placed on my shoulder and looked him over. He held out a pair of athletic shorts that I hurried to put on before making myself look into his eyes.

He had a solemn expression. He wasn't cheering that he got what he wanted—me—and that pissed me off. How dare he act this way after all this? It was like reliving the past, one hundred and twenty years ago.

"You promised!" I spat at him, taking several steps back from him. "You'd take me out!"

He shook his head. "I said that I'd take you out if your life was in danger. It never was. You put up a good fight."

I looked around the group that circled us and saw the same looks of mixed awe and terror from after Edward's battle. And I saw the bodies on the ground...

Had I really inflicted so much damage?

I met Edward's eyes one last time before I ran.

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**Longest chapter to date because I put two half-length chapters together for y'all so it would be worth the read.  
**

**More to come very soon. I've had the rest of this story almost completely written from the start. I'd just like to hear a couple opinions before I finalize the last drafts.**

**Thanks for the patience, my dears.  
**

**Much Love,  
**

**MuffN  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter ten is all that some people have been waiting for. Not enough for some people, too much for others, but just enough for this story's plot in my opinion, lol.**

******Disclaimer: I do not own the novels Twilight or Blood and Chocolate... or the characters within either. I merely thought the plot of the latter would be better with the characters of the former :P**

* * *

I went the only place I could think to go.

All the windows at Chief Swan's house were dark, but I breathed in the air to find out if Jacob was home or not. I caught the scent of woodsmoke and earth. Yes, he was home.

I quickly scaled a tree up to Jacob's bedroom window. He was sleeping soundly in the bed inside, curled up under a pile of blankets to ward off the night's chill. He had no idea the horrors of the world I lived in. I knocked lightly on the glass and his eyes opened with a start.

He looked around wildly for a moment before his eyes settled on the window, squinting to try to see me clearer.

"Jake," I whispered, tapping one fingernail on the pane.

"Bella?" he answered in shock, hurrying to unlock the window for me. "What are you doing here?"

"I just had a really bad night," I told him as he offered a hand to help me climb inside before wrapping his arms around me. "I needed to see a friendly face, and you'll be pleased to know that you're the first person I thought of."

"I _am_ flattered, but confused," he admitted and I could hardly blame him after the way I'd been avoiding his presence since we visited his reservation together. It had been less than a week, but I'd been extremely thorough in keeping my word to Carlisle, despite the many times poor Jacob had attempted to speak with me.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could explain it all."

"Me too," he sighed. "You... you hurt my feelings, Bella."

"Would it help if I said that I think I love you?" I asked in a whisper. I hadn't meant to say the words, but they were probably true, nonetheless. He was a kind human, after all. I heard his mouth pop open in shock, his grip on me tightening.

"Uh, yes, I think it would help." I pressed my face into his chest, enjoying the warmth there. "You're so cold," he said, rubbing his hands up and down my arms. "What are you wearing?"

I wanted to blush. It was hardly human for me to appear in his window in Forks weather, wearing so little. I hadn't even thought to change out of the pair of athletic shorts and shirt Edward had given me after Carnival.

"I left in a rush," I explained dismissively.

"Hold on a second," he said, pulling away from me and opening a dresser drawer. "Here."

I took the proffered items and put them on, a small smile coming to my face at what I'm sure made a silly picture, me in Jacob's much too large hoodie and sweatpants. I had to hold the waistband up just so they wouldn't fall off of me.

"You look ridiculous," he confirmed, and I couldn't help grinning in response.

"Hey, don't make fun of the girl who climbed into your damn window in the middle of the night. Most guys would be flattered."

"I am," he smiled down at me.

"And after I did it and told him I loved him, most guys would try to get me _out_ of my clothes, instead of into more."

"I'm not most guys," he smiled again. "And you always feel so cold. I take care of the girls who say they love me."

His phrasing irked me. It's not as if I came over for sex, but come on. Really?

"But I know a better way to warm up the girl you love," I tried, affecting a seductive grin.

He bit his lip in response, but his eyes looked apologetic and cautious. _Oh my God..._

"Bella-"

"You don't love me," I interpreted, and I let out a tearless sob when he didn't contradict my words right away.

"That's not it, Bella!" he tried to explain in a frantic whisper. I dodged his attempt to pull me into his arms. "It's just that I don't _know_, and it would be wrong for me to tell you I do if I'm not 100% positive, right?"

"No, it's wrong for you to hurt me this way. I can live with a little lost hope, but not tonight, Jake. It's not fair for you to do this to me tonight," I snarled in an almost inhuman way. I'd need to watch myself.

"Bella, I'm sorry, but you caught me off guard. I take you out, think we have a great night together, and then you just stop talking to me! I've been trying to get over you for the past week, and then you just show up out of nowhere and tell me you _love_ me? What did you expect?"

"I didn't come here to tell you that. I came here to just see you. Be comforted by you. And it just came out because... I don't know why. I shouldn't have said it. I'm sorry that you don't feel the same," I let out in a harsh whisper, hurrying back out the way I came. God, I was such an idiot to come here...

Another choked sob escaped me when I saw the car down the street, though I wasn't surprised by its presence. Edward held the door open for me still only in his shorts from the battle earlier, and shut it once I was settled in. Neither of us spoke a word through the duration of the ride.

He opened the door for me when we arrived back at the main house—surprisingly quiet, as everyone was probably still out partying and quenching their thirst—and led me up to my room.

"Are you alright, Bella?" he asked as I finally met his eyes. He looked just as heartbroken as I was and that _hurt_ me, knowing that I had caused that. He'd heard me tell Jake that I loved him, and that caused him pain.

Because he did care for me, even if he was an asshole.

I shook my head, lowering my head to my chest. I could smell Jake on my clothes; I had to get them off.

I hurried to discard the sweatshirt and pants, finding myself appalled that his scent had seeped into the clothes I wore underneath as well. I frantically tried to get the buttons of the shirt undone.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked solemnly, his hands stopping my own.

"These clothes _reek_ of him," I hissed.

He just nodded, a neutral expression coming over his face as he undid the buttons much quicker than I would have been able to and pulled the shirt and shorts off me, before he went to my closet and pulled out a delicate looking yellow slip, pulling it over my head and then sweeping my hair out from underneath. It was a strange echo from my first night as a vampire.

I was just thankful that he wasn't leering or glaring at me as he did so.

He tossed the discarded clothing out the window, keeping the scent of heartbreak away from me. I was thankful toward him as I stared at the silly looking rags lying on the ground, three stories below.

I turned my attention from the window, finding Edward laying in my bed, his arms open as if he wanted me to come to him.

After what I just went through? Was he kidding me?

"Come here, Bella," he said, and I could tell it wasn't a command. I didn't have to obey if I didn't want to.

I shook my head sadly at him.

"I promise," he began in a pleading voice. "I won't be inappropriate. Just let me hold you."

I shook my head again.

"Please, Bella. Just this once. Pretend that I haven't fucked up completely with you and let me need to feel you—let me comfort you," he begged.

_Begged._

Edward lowering himself off his self imposed pedestal to beg me deserved some retribution. He was hurting just as much as I was, after all. And I wanted Jake to hold me, so the least I could do was let Edward get his wish, as I couldn't get mine.

So I laid down beside him, facing away, and he put an arm around me, pulling me closer to him. I felt him press his face between my shoulder blades, and heard him breathe in deeply.

I sighed. It felt nice to be wanted, even if it wasn't by the one I craved.

I stiffened when I felt his hand move from around my stomach to rest on my breast, but he didn't try to grab or caress me. He just rested his hand there, as if it gave him a sense of security. I remembered his words about Victoria and James, how she would always feel possessive over him and take comfort from him because she was the one who turned him into what he was; Edward's hand didn't bother me so much anymore. He wasn't getting a cheap feel, I knew, but rather letting his skin feel where he had bitten me, all those years ago. He cared for me, and that spot was tangible proof that I really was here with him.

His face moved up to my neck, his nose lightly running across my second scar, not in a sensual or seductive way, but more like he was trying to reassure himself.

Yes, this was a different Edward than the one I had been presented with for so long, one only recognizable because of those first couple hours after I had awoken.

I found myself not hating this Edward, and maybe even enjoying his company, even as much as my nonexistent soul seemed to bleed from the hurt Jacob had inflicted upon me.

"What are you thinking, Bella?" he whispered lightly into my ear.

"I hurt, Edward," I answered honestly. "Everywhere hurts, but I have no physical wounds."

"I understand," he told me, and his other hand slithered between the bed and my body up to rest on my womb. It was another gesture that could have been considered sexual, but as he pushed me into him from that point, I didn't feel Edward growing hard behind me. This wasn't about sex with him tonight, it was just about comfort and closeness. I didn't try to pull away from him.

"I know you do," I whispered in return, my throat wet with want for so many things I couldn't ever have.

"Why have you been such an asshole to me recently?" I asked him suddenly. He snarled lightly at my choice of words, but I continued nonetheless. "I'm not asking why you ignored me for over a century, but why have you been such a prick recently? Why haven't you been nice like you're trying to be now?"

"I... wanted to grab your attention. It seemed to work originally, after all. I was... upset with James and his intentions and I took that out on you. And you responded by flashing me. That set a precedent."

I hissed automatically, though it was more at myself than him. He was right. He'd been an asshole right away and I had rewarded him for that.

"And the more I acted that way, the more you spoke to me. Then I bit you again and I couldn't turn back from there. I was desperate to have you as mine. I apologize for my cruel and sometimes crude actions."

"But you still tried to respect me when we reached that intimate level," I reminded him of his words halfway through Carnival, all the while astounded with myself for the way I tried to comfort him in this. What had he ever done to deserve that? Oh yeah, calm me down and do nothing more than love me _tonight_. I sighed mentally.

"I did," he said, stiffening suddenly before going to move his hands away. "I'm sorry. I hadn't even realized..."

"It's okay," I told him softly, placing his hands back where they were.

And the atmosphere shifted. We were both very much aware where his hands were, and the unintentional force I used to put them back was pleasurable. I could smell both our arousal in the air.

"It's okay," I told him again. Maybe one night of healing together was exactly what we needed. I caressed his hands into moving, rubbing my breast and mound through the thin cotton material of the slip I wore. "It's okay tonight, Edward."

"I don't want only tonight, Bella," he whispered roughly into my neck. I could tell the effort he made not to give in to me immediately as I reached back and pushed his shorts down his hips, feeling him escape and press against my backside.

"I can't promise you anything else," I returned, pushing back into him. Oh God, he was so ready. "I hurt, Edward. It hurts too much to promise more."

"And it hurts me to know that I might never have more after tonight," he replied, pressing himself against me. The cotton of my slip pressed between my thighs as he pushed himself there. I spread my legs and pulled the dress up, giving him all the opening he needed, if he chose to take it. He would, I knew.

"But you still have tonight," I said emphatically. "Please, Edward... I won't ask you again."

He lightly pushed me onto my back and crawled on top of me, his shorts completely gone from his body. "That's what I'm afraid of," he confessed as he pushed inside of me.

We both groaned loudly at the contact, and I was glad that the rest of the house probably wouldn't be returning until dawn. Post Carnival was always a good time for hunting and reviving.

He pushed inside me and I arched my back off the bed, he pulled out of me, and my hand on his hip tried pushing him back inside. He filled me so fully, and I couldn't seem to get enough of him. But his hands remained on my back, not exploring. Did he not think he was allowed?

"Touch me, Edward," I told his chest. "It's okay for you to touch me tonight."

He grunted into me, moving deeper and making me moan out his name as one of his hands moved to massage my breast. _Yes... Like that._

I rubbed my hands up and down his chest and kissed his neck in response. It was different being with Edward without being high on his bite, but no less pleasurable.

He purred in pleasure, his own mouth coming down to my neck as well, the nature in him wanting to come out. I didn't give him permission to bite me, though, wanting to complete this experience without that. For once.

I hated Edward with all my heart. I hated the way he made a game of me and used me and ignored me and was a fucking douchebag the last several weeks. I _hated_ him.

But I wanted this kind, understanding Edward to know that I was with _him,_ and not influenced by the pheromones he released in a bite. I owed _this_ Edward that, since he loved me in this manner when I needed it most. This Edward I cared deeply for since the night we met and I wanted to give him this gift.

He kissed my neck slowly, softly, once he realized that I wouldn't allow him his silent request and I gasped at the feel of his tongue sliding over my neck, almost recanting my decision not to let him bite me.

"Again," I told him, receiving a breathless chuckle in reply.

And he did so as he thrust himself harder into me. I called out his name in response and he continued, my hands sliding over onto his back, pushing him closer and harder to me.

"Bella," he breathed my name and that one word had so many emotions in it that it hurt me to hear. Was I causing him more pain than pleasure in doing this to him?

"No," he whispered in response to the look on my face as he kept with his ministrations. "No, I just love feeling you again. That you pull me closer. That you're giving me this. That it really is _you_ and not me inflicting these feelings onto you."

He appreciated my gift. I gave him another one in my gratitude for his acknowledgment.

"It's still all you doing this to—ah! Oh, Edward—doing this to me."

"Thank you," he murmured in my ear and I shivered at the tone in his voice. His lips smiled against the skin there. He was enjoying our night together. It was a good idea to give this to him.

His hands rubbed up and down my torso a couple times before one settling back onto my breast, teasing my nipple to the point it was almost painful, and the other supporting my neck, as was instinctive to us vampires. I was so close. Any moment now.

He increased his pace and depth and it was my turn to purr into him. My hands squeezed his ass, pushing him roughly into me and he called out in surprise, coming suddenly and quickly. I couldn't do anything except go right along with him.

He collapsed on top of me and I wrapped my limbs around him. We still had time before I had to face my pain.

"Thank you, Bella. Thank you. Thank you," he whispered over and over in my ear, kissing my skin after each expression of gratitude.

"Are you thirsty?" I interrupted him after a couple minutes. He looked at me curiously. I pushed the material of the slip I still wore down, revealing the spot on my breast he liked to feed from. "I gave you the night, Edward. Dawn hasn't broken yet."

He immediately pulled the light gown from my body and bit down gently, pulling my life's blood from me lightly and undulating himself inside me once more, bringing me to a peak again almost immediately.

He had me all to himself that night; I would remember my heartache again when the sun rose and not a moment before.

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**Two more chapters. Both are already written. I'd just like to receive some thoughts and opinions before I post them.**

**Thanks to everyone who is still with me, reading and reviewing!  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**New chapter after not too long for y'all. One more chapter to go!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Blood and Chocolate. I only thought that the plot of the latter would be much more interesting with the characters of the former.**

* * *

We'd been lying in the bed together, Edward stroking my hair and breathing in my skin. I was enjoying the feeling of being adored when I saw the first rays of sunlight peek through the curtains only half closed over the window.

I kept the promise I'd made to myself, breaking down into tearless sobs almost immediately, mourning my loss of Jacob anew. It was so much harder this time around, knowing that not only was I forbidden to see him, but also that he didn't even want to see me. He didn't want me. He didn't love me.

Edward was immediately next to my hunched over form, wrapping his arms around me in comfort, a hurt expression on his face. My pain hurt him, because I was feeling pain over someone else. Not him. Not after that first year.

"Go away, Edward," I told him. "You don't need to see me like this."

"I don't mind," he said quietly, holding my shaking body tightly. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

And then I sobbed a little for him as well. He was pitiful in his sudden selfless devotion for me. Why couldn't he have shown me this side of himself from the start? If he had, neither of us would have been feeling this pain now.

Eventually he managed to quiet my sobs somewhat and he just held me, rocking us back and forth like I was some hysterical human. Well, at least that was half right.

Soon there was a knock on the door, shocking us both. I sprang away from him and was pulling a robe on myself as Edward pulled his shorts back on, calling for the intruder to enter.

Carlisle opened the door and looked in at us with a raised eyebrow at the scene in front of him. He held out a cordless phone to me.

"Make it short," were the only words he spoke before he walked back out the door. He shared a look with Edward before closing the door behind him.

"Hello?" I asked in confusion. I'm sure my voice sounded awkward and horrible.

"Bella, thank god. I need to see you."

I didn't say anything and Edward's eyes shot to mine as he heard Jake's voice. As vampires, we didn't need speakerphone to eavesdrop on calls.

"Bella, I know I hurt your feelings, but please talk to me."

I didn't know what to say. I'd come to an understanding with myself over Edward through the night: he loved me and we would both let that happen if I didn't try to hurt him more.

Talking to Jake would hurt Edward, mostly because it would make me happy. But what if what Jacob wanted to talk to me about could make me even happier in return?

I opened and closed my mouth a couple times, no words coming out.

"Talk to him, Bella," Edward said grimly, suddenly right behind me. I turned to look him in the eyes, trying to see why he was telling me to do what I wanted. _Because it was what I wanted,_ his eyes told me.

I discarded our silent agreement and spoke, hope in my voice.

"Jacob?"

"Bella," he sighed, seemingly glad that I was still speaking to him. "I'm sorry we left things like that. You just caught me by surprise—I didn't know what to say."

I took a deep, unnecessary breath. He would have known what to say if he felt the same thing, right?

"Can we meet up somewhere? I really want to talk to you in person."

"No," I told him. I didn't need for him to try to explain to my face why he didn't love me.

"It's okay if you want to," Edward whispered in my ear. I shook my head too quickly for a human to notice. I didn't want to go. "No," he said louder. "You're going to go, goddamn it, Bella."

I was pissed and apparently so was Jacob.

"Who's that, Bella?" he asked in a hostile voice.

I let my anger out. "That's Edward. You remember him, right?"

"Don't push him away, Bella," Edward told me, not quite as loud as before, but still not whispering. "I'm not going to let you ruin your chance at real happiness."

"Yeah, I do. He's always all over you," Jake responded. "What's he doing with you so early in the morning?"

"He's here because I was up all night having sex with him," I said bluntly. I had no reason to hide it from him. It's not as if we had a future together anyway. "All night. He was there for me because you don't want to be."

"Damn it," both men grunted at me in both my ears.

"Why are you telling me this? To hurt me like I hurt you? Fuck you, Bella," Jake said harshly.

"I offered. I thought you didn't want to," I snarled back.

"Fuck, Bella," Edward whispered, pinching the bridge of his nose. I felt horrible. Maybe another reason Edward wanted me to go was so that he didn't have to witness this conversation, or maybe so that _I_ couldn't watch _him_ witness it.

"Meet me at the old park off the highway."

And I hung up. Edward let out a sigh that I could have sworn was relief.

I hop in the shower and leave almost immediately. Running, I'd still get there quicker than Jacob driving his truck, even if he left right after we'd hung up.

I sat in the middle of the old seesaw in the park, perched stiffly and anxiously, for almost ten minutes before he showed up.

"Bella!" he exclaimed once he saw me, incredible relief on his face. Thank you so much for meeting me. I was worried that you only said that to get me off the phone."

"Well, I'm here," I respond nonchalantly. I didn't want him to know just how pleased I was that he was here, trying to gain my forgiveness.

"Bella, I..." He paused to clear his throat. "I love you, too. I'm sorry I couldn't say it last night, but you just took me by surprise. But I do."

My human pet _did_ love me after all. I was worthy of love. I tried not to smile too widely.

"And of course I'm pissed that you slept with Edward ," he continued, "when you claimed that you had no feelings for him... But it's me that you said you love, not him. Right?"

"Right. I never told him that I love him."

Then he kissed me. Not questioning my choice of words or condemning me for my actions the night before. He was being the kind, sweet boy I knew him to be. Even though I knew I shouldn't, I kissed him back, reward him for his bravery in coming back to me.

We kissed frantically until my blood was boiling and I realized that after all my exertions the night before at Carnival, I never fed to keep up my strength and will power. My emotions were just as hard to control as my urges and I wanted to bite him.

Then I heard shuffling in the woods, too light for a human to hear. I actually felt thankful for the distraction of Edward following me around as usual. I was getting dangerously close to harming this poor human.

"What's that?" Jake asked quietly, motioning to the left.

I could hear the creaking of branches breaking. That was strange. Vampires don't make noises that loud when they walk and especially not Edward. He was the quietest vampire I'd ever met. It wasn't him.

"I don't know," I whispered in return. If it wasn't Edward, then I had no idea what could possibly be making such a racket.

Jake gallantly put an arm in front of me, trying to place me behind him. He didn't know that I was more equipped to protect him than he was to do such to me. A large dark form appeared through the trees—a wild animal. Good. I was hungry, so maybe I could convince Jake to go away so I could feed before I gave in to the temptation to feed from the more appetizing human beside me.

Then the animal started stalking towards us and I cursed under my breath. Jake would never leave now and the animal would be in his line of sight in a couple seconds.

It lunged through the trees, running toward us and I grabbed Jake's arm, pulling him away from the brunt of the attack just as what appeared to be a giant wolf made its way through the trees and tackled us both to the ground.

A paw raked across both our chests and the pain caught me by surprise, making me let out a scream. As I opened my mouth I tasted the scent of Jake's blood in the air. Oh, god, now I was wounded as well as thirsty and his blood was in the air.

I stood up as quickly as I could and leapt into the wolf's second attack, snarling just as viciously as the beast, both of us clawing and swiping at each other to the background noise of Jake gasping in pain on the ground behind me. I hoped that he wasn't seeing what I was doing, too distracted by his pain. Hopefully.

I glanced behind me to get a look at how badly he was hurt and I whimpered at the sight. He appeared to be passed out and had a couple deep wounds in his chest, but he'd live. God, the red spilling over his ruined shirt looked brilliant to my already weary eyes. The wolf managed to get in a hit in on me through my distraction and I cried out in pain, grasping my wounded arm tightly. It hurt worse than the first hit, practically ripping the tendons from bone, rather than just slashing. It would take much longer for that wound to heal and I now only had one arm to defend myself and Jacob.

The wolf lunged a third time, pinning me to the ground. I wondered why I could fight so well, so desperately, at Carnival, but I couldn't even defend myself against this one wolf.

_What's wrong with me?_ I wondered as drool from his mouth dripped down onto me and it smelled rancid and slightly familiar.

Then the wolf was gone from above me and I heard a loud smashing noise, maybe two hundred yards away.

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward asked frantically, leaning over my body. I wanted to say yes, but my arm hurt so bad that I could hardly manage a whimper in response. Thank God he was always following me.

He pulled me up from the ground and I clung to him with my good arm, holding the injured one up to my chest. He gently took it into his hands and looked it over, a tortured expression in his features. It turned stoney when we heard the howl.

The wolf rushed through the trees again, hurrying back from the place Edward had thrown him. Edward met him, pushing me behind him in the process, and I found myself lying next to Jacob.

I glanced and saw that Edward had the fight under control, so I turned my attention to the injured man beside me. He was breathing deeply with his eyes tightly closed.

"Jacob... Jake!"

His eyes popped open and he looked at me, his eyes wide as he looked me over. "Bella... Your arm..."

"I'm fine," I lied, not wanting to focus on the pain. "But you're not. Can you stand?"

He nodded and sat up, blood rushing anew from his wounds. I held my breath as he let out a gasp of pain, his hand going to his wound as he hauled himself up. I wished I could help him, but I didn't want to risk getting too close and losing my composure, which had been so low before the wolf had even shown up.

"What the hell?" he suddenly said, his mouth falling open as he looked over my shoulder, staggering in shock as well as pain. I caught him—he was so _warm_ and _alive_—not needing to look behind me to know he was witnessing Edward fighting the giant wolf. I just hoped that they moved too fast for him to pick out too many details of the fight.

"I think I have to get you out of here, Jacob," I told him, helping him wobble away. I paused only briefly when I heard Edward call out in pain. He could handle himself well enough, I knew.

I paused longer when he called out to me. "Bella! No, don't leave with him, Bella!"

Really? Was he going to be jealous _now_ of all times? But he sounded so desperate...

"Bella, we have to get out of here," Jacob whispered in my ear and I could hear the pain in his voice. He needed to leave. He needed help. And after what I told him, he didn't want me to choose Edward over him. Who did I want more? Or more accurately, who did I not want to witness die?

The answer was easy.

I continued to lead Jake out of the woods as fast as I could, Edward yelling at me through his battle all the while.

We had just made it to the road and collapsed in a heap there, Jake breathing heavily and me not breathing at all. There was too much blood in the air and I needed it too badly. I had to get away.

I had the control for a short explanation to Jacob.

"Jake I'm going to go get help you stay here okay?" I let out in a rush, the glorious taste reaching my tongue as I opened my mouth to speak. _So good._

"Wait," he said as I pulled away from him.

I might have been able to make it if it weren't for him smiling so gently at me. The look on his face was so full of affection for me that I paused long enough for his hand to come up and gently touch my lips—the hand he had been holding against his wound.

I gasped in shock at the feel of his wet fingers and one of them slid between my lips, giving me a taste of him. The predator inside me came out and I was at his neck instantly, drinking from the most direct vein I knew, trying to quench my desire and feed my monster.

He called out in surprise before his hand went to the back of my head. It was hard to resist a vampire bite, as I well knew.

"Bella, what the hell?" he managed to ask—though still pressing my mouth closer to him—and even as I couldn't control myself I was still proud of him for having some semblance of self and realizing that not all was right. I stroked his hair in recognition as I sucked in life and healing for myself. Vampires are very selfish creatures, after all.

"What are... Bella..."

I hummed into his skin in response.

"Are you... vampire..."

I hummed again. The least I could give him was the truth if I was going to end up killing him anyway.

"Bella!" This voice wasn't drowsy or quiet or right in front of me. It was Edward, coming through the woods behind me at a blinding place.

He gripped my jaw roughly, unclamping it and pulling me away from Jake's throat without severing his neck any more than I already had. It hurt my jaw, but I had to be grateful to him as he pulled me back several yards, the monster in me fighting to get back to my appetizing meal in front of me.

"Here, Bella," he said loudly, trying to grab my attention. "Here. Drink here!"

The word "drink" drew my attention and I saw him baring his neck to me, pulling the collar of his shirt down. I fed without another thought, both my hands pushing into the nape of his neck, holding him tightly to me.

He let out a low groan as I broke the skin there. His hands clutched me tighter to him and I drank deeply, my survival instincts kicking in. It had been so long since I fed out of instinct that I let the blood lust overtake me completely, pushing myself against Edward and himself against me. Oh, God, he felt as good as he tasted.

"Disgusting," I heard in a whisper from Jacob's direction. I bit down harder in my emotional turmoil and Edward let out a sexy grunt, pushing me harder against him. I moaned in response, feeling him firm and large against me. I didn't care, letting my bloodlust control me.

"You're so beautiful like this, Bella," Edward whispered to me in contrast to Jake's words, rubbing my back firmly but lovingly, his hands drifting to the sides of my breasts. "Letting your instincts take over, and allowing your surroundings to disappear."

I drank deeper from him in thanks for his words, letting him touch me for appreciating what I was, what I couldn't change about myself.

"Evil fucking creature," I heard, much louder than before and with a deep hatred in his voice. It hurt me to hear it and I held on tighter to Edward in response. "You say that you love me and you let the man you claim to hate touch you? Y-y-you..."

"Bella, let go," Edward whispered urgently to me and I was confused, though sated enough to understand his words. I released my teeth and instinctively gave a lick to the area before pulling away. He surprised me by keeping much too firm a grip on me, though he wasn't looking at my face.

I turned in the direction he was facing, only to see Jacob shivering compulsively as he tried to stand. He didn't look _right._

"Jacob..." I trailed off and Edward prevented me from taking a step to him.

He shook uncontrollably as he stared at me, anger in his eyes.

"Don't patronize me!" he shouted, trembling so much his skin seemed to want to escape from his body. Edward backed us up several more paces, Jacob looking incredulous. "You've teased me and _tormented_ me and told me you loved me and then you _fed off me_ because you're a monster! All while you've been with _him? _Really only wanting _him?_ I can't believe you, Bella!"

I opened my mouth to defend myself or at least explain about Edward, when Jacob exploded.

His skin disintegrated in front of my eyes, and the red, fleshy muscle underneath expanded and reformed, healing his wounds as it did so, fur appearing out of nowhere to cover his body.

My mouth dropped open in horror of the larger than imaginable wolf in front of us, Edward backing us slowly away from him.

It occurred to me that Billy Black was right all along. I wondered what poor boy from Jake's tribe it was who was transformed into a beast earlier and who had done it to him.

And I was wrong. Werewolves weren't born from spirit animals trying to defend a human after a bite. They were born from the _vengeance_ felt after being bitten.

The low growl took me out of my thought process, directing my attention back to Jacob and the crouch he affected, as if to lunge and kill us. Kill _me._ My human couldn't really want to kill me, could he?

I supposed not, but it seemed likely that the werewolf did.

"Bella, I need you to run; run hard and fast once he attacks. Get help. I'll hold him-"

Edward stopped mid-sentence to throw me behind him again as Jake's teeth snapped exactly where I had been standing. My mouth fell open in shock that he would target _me_. _ME._

"Go, Bella!" Edward yelled, punching Jacob in the snout. Even in this form, it hurt me to watch; I still thought of him as _my_ Jacob and I didn't like seeing him hurt.

"Jacob, stop!" I yelled instead. "This isn't you, Jake! Stop!"

He only responded by turning on me.

I dodged his attack, not being able to bring myself to go on the offensive and Edward took my hand, pulling me away, fleeing the scene.

"I told you not to go off with him!" Edward yelled angrily as we ran as fast as we could. "I was worried about you!"

I shook my head, not wanting to hear his words, instead glancing behind us.

Jake was following, but we were faster. We were safe.

We passed the mangled and shredded body of another vampire as we passed, maybe a mile outside the park where I met Jacob. Poor James. He never could fully control his urges.

It looked like the first wolf had already neutralized his target before coming after us.

And I had turned the human I cared for into a monster. I was just like Edward now. Maybe we finally deserved each other.

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**Go ahead and leave me some feedback. I'll post the final chapter once I get a few thoughts on how this one went :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Final chapter of Blood or Chocolate. This is my most recently added story, and yet the one I shall finish first. I'm almost too proud... *sheds tear***

******Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Blood and Chocolate. I only thought that the plot of the latter would be much more interesting with the characters of the former.**

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It had been twelve days since Edward had saved my life and I turned Jacob into a beast. I'd seen neither of them in that time, hiding out at Renee's house and gorging myself on the forest animals. It was a vain attempt to assure I would never lose control again, ruining more lives like mine had been.

There hadn't been any news of him as missing so I could only assume that he had the ability to return to his human form and eventually went back home to Chief Swan.

I needed to know that Jake was okay, or at least not unbearably unhappy.

Despite this, I was certain her wouldn't want to see me, so I knew I had to leave the option up to him. On the thirteenth day, when I knew he would be in school, I sneaked into his bedroom and left a note, asking him to meet with me. Just once. I would be back the next day for a reply, so he wouldn't even need to call and hear my voice if he didn't want to.

True to my word, I returned at the same time the next day to see his response:

_Six tonight at the diner. I'm not meeting you in a private place again._

It hurt knowing that he felt he needed a public venue to ensure his safety, but I knew that I deserved his mistrust.

He's already sitting in a booth in the back corner when I arrive. Even though he agreed to meet with me, he is obviously displeased to see me.

He's stiff with tension as I sit across from him and doesn't let me get a word in before he speaks.

"I never want you in my house again."

"I understand," I tell him. I pause. "Is it... Do you hate me?"

"Yes." His reply is immediate.

I'd expected it, but thought maybe it would be different. Maybe he did love me like he said he did, and could forgive me if I gave him some time to process the change he went through. We were nothing alike in the end.

"You can't accept me. I understand," I repeated. "I never meant to hurt you, and I believe you know this deep inside, but I know that doesn't change what I am, and what I made you. We are both forever stuck as we are, and I only hope you can one day embrace the change as I have."

He snorts. "You made me into a monster like you and you lied to me. I can never forgive that."

I take a deep breath and release it once his scent reaches my system. He still has that delicious smell to his skin, but there's a dark taste underneath now that completely repulses me. He holds no attraction to me anymore. It was his blood, his very naive nature that had endeared me to him from the start and now I know that was all it was. It was the humanity in him that I adored and missed in myself, not Jacob himself with his flowers and sweet gestures.

I don't cry as he leaves me alone in the booth, walking away so fast he almost runs into the man glaring at him in the doorway of the small establishment. I can almost read his thoughts: pale skin, dark eyes—vampire. He flinches at Edward's gaze as he hurried out to his truck. _Coward._

Edward slid in my side of the booth and put his arm across my shoulders, giving a light squeeze of comfort. It was hard accepting that Edward was being kind and not trying to cop a feel, but I knew his intentions and let him keep his arm there. He knew that it was hard for me to participate in that conversation and was trying to make me feel better for it.

"Edward," I sigh, not sure which emotion to express after finally realizing the truth I'd been trying to squash down for over a hundred years.

"It'll be fine, Bella," he whispered back, incorrectly identifying my distress. "I tried telling you before. We _can't_ mix with humans. It's not because of rules or stubbornness or a superiority complex. It's because our species aren't _meant_ to."

"You got involved with me," I whispered, softly stroking the hand that rested on my shoulder.

He was silent for a moment before speaking.

"Once upon a time time, I killed the girl I loved," he said softly, and I looked at him with a start. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't talking about when he had murdered me.

"I never told you about the first woman who caught my eye, did I?" he asked casually, though he obviously knew that he had never shared any such story with me. "Tanya from St. Petersburg. Sexy as hell. Blonde. Hourglass frame and big breasts always trying to burst out of her corset. Rather plump."

I raised an eyebrow at him at his last description.

"This was in fifteen forty two. It was an attractive qualities back then." He smiled kindly at the way I rolled my eyes.

"What about Tanya?" I asked, trying to get him back to his point. I was desperate to know about the woman he love before he turned me.

"She was human. And I tried to court her as such."

My mouth fell open in shock. He'd always been so against anyone from the coven associating more than casually with humans and I assumed the death of this woman was the reason why.

"I know what you're thinking," he smirked, almost apologetically. "But I learned that lesson in a very hard way. Humans are wired differently than us. We can't make it work with them without them knowing the truth about who we are and when we do there are only two options."

"Which are?" I asked quietly, looking around at the other diners surreptitiously to make sure nobody was paying attention to our conversation.

"First is that the human accepts it and want to become one of us. Which you know just as well as I do isn't that easy. We're more likely to kill than sire."

I nodded. I remembered both his struggle to stop drinking when he changed me, along with the way I had struggled so hard with Jake. Even though I knew he was a boy I never wanted to hurt, the pull of my bloodlust was too much. It was always so easy to start to feed, and so hard to stop.

"The second option is that they hate us for who we are, proving that it was never meant to be with that person in the first place."

"What happened with Tanya?" I asked. Edward had already told me that he'd killed her, but I didn't know how it got to that point.

"We were... in the throes of passion, with her heart thrumming wildly and her scent all over and her bare neck and I just couldn't help but bite. She didn't know what I was and so she didn't know that anything bad was happening at first, so she didn't try to stop me. I wasn't able to stop."

"Did you love her?" I asked. I knew that I would have killed Jacob if Edward hadn't stopped me and how horrifying that would have been if I had really and truly loved Jake.

"More than I had anyone else at that time."

I nodded in understanding.

"Why did you even change me in the first place, Edward? If you had already... you know."

"I saw you all those years ago and wanted you immediately."

I raised an eyebrow at his blunt opening and stated the obvious as well. "But there was no way to survive a coupling between humans and vampires."

"Indeed. So I decided to change you right away, rather than waiting to fall in love with you."

"Because if it didn't work, you didn't want to have the guilt of my death on your hands again," I inferred, not needing to wait for his confirmation to know I was right. "That was very selfish of you."

"Yes, it was. We're a very selfish species. You know this."

"I do," I sighed.

"I was too late as it was. I've been in love with you since before you even saw me staring at you in that theater so long ago. I just didn't want to admit it to myself, or least of all you."

"But why have you never told me this, these last hundred and twenty years? Why have you done your best to avoid me if you changed me because you wanted me?"

He was quiet for a long moment. "You woke up after much too long. I thought I had failed at first. And you know the first thing you said to me when you woke up? Is your memory of that evening clear?"

It was, but wanted to hear him say it, hear his interpretation of my words. "Tell me," I commanded.

"You told me that you hated and loved me for what I did to you. You loved the immediate power you felt when you awoke, and you loved the... the _pleasurable_ feeling of my bite in your skin. You loved the extra senses you could feel. But you hated me even more for turning you into a creature like myself, one who would kill another being in the first place. You hated me for the burn in your throat that was proof of the monster you were transformed into."

"And I meant every word."

"I could tell as much. I figured that you wouldn't appreciate me courting you to be my mate when you hated me so ardently."

"You believed I would have fled the coven," I inferred.

"And consequently be hunted down by our trackers to avoid exposure. Newborns are exceptionally hard to control, as you remember."

I nodded before I admitted the truth. "I wouldn't have, you know. Fled, that is. I wouldn't have left."

He raised his eyebrow to me in disbelief.

"Believe it or not, Edward, but you rocked my world at the theater," I began, the first real grin of the day on my face, Edward's morphing to mirror my own. "Through. And. Through. You _rocked_ it."

"I knew I hadn't lost my touch," he smirked. He was being the cocky bastard that I was used to, but it almost seemed more like bravado, rather than a true egotistical self. Had that always been so and I had just assumed the worst?

"And you're not a bad looking guy, and your touch electrifies me..." I trailed off, both hoping he would and would not catch my use of the present tense. I wasn't ready to settle into a relationship with him in my current state, even as I was accepting that it would eventually happen. "And you were so kind and understanding and sweet when I first woke up. I wouldn't have complained in the least. At least it would have given purpose for why you had changed me, instead of... not."

"What changed?" he asked, his smile fading. "Why did you begin to hate me?"

"_You_ changed," I accused as lightly as I could. I didn't want him angry with me, even as I told the truth. "You stopped being all that I admired in you. You didn't acknowledge me, you weren't kind to me, and you were blatantly rude and disrespectful of everyone I saw you interact with."

"Most males hit on you. I don't like it."

I scoffed aloud, though I suddenly understood. I surely didn't help matters by flirting as often as I did with those around me.

"And you had apparently changed me into a monster for no reason. After _seducing_ me, taking my virtue, and rocking my world. It was as if it was all just a game to you. Get young girls to give you what you want and then punish them with an eternity in hell for doing so. I _had_ to hate one who would do such a thing. I'm a better person than how you treated me."

He nodded slowly. He understood.

"What caused _your_ turn around?" I asked in return.

"Honestly?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

I had a feeling I wouldn't like his answer, but I nodded nonetheless.

"Well, I figured that I didn't need to try to be an asshole to you anymore, since I already had you." I shifted uncomfortably, thinking of when we had sex at Carnival. "The... enthusiastic way you always reacted during bloodletting proved that you wanted me—at least subconsciously—and after the fight at Carnival, I didn't need to try to gain your attention anymore. My battle was over. I won the right to have you."

I was right. I _didn't_ like his answer.

"I wouldn't ever force you, of course. But I now had the option and right to you physically whenever I wanted. I had the power not to be looked down on for it and no one would challenge my right, as you're officially my mate after Carnival even if we haven't declared it as of yet. We're both off limits to anyone else."

I rolled my eyes. He'd let me go to Jacob, after all. Twice.

"I just figured I didn't need to act like anything I wasn't anymore. I'd already gotten as much as I could out of you acting the way I had, so I had nothing else to prove."

"So you're nice to me because you can be?" It seemed much too simple.

"Carlisle is my brother, you know," he said, almost conversationally.

"Are you changing the subject? Yes, I know he is. And that makes Jasper your nephew, since he looks so alike to Carlisle. Why are we talking about this?"

He was shaking his head at me. "No, you misunderstand me. He's my _brother._ We were birthed by the same mother, raised by the same father. We share a bloodline outside of vampirism."

My jaw fell slack.

"We were also changed by the same sire, one who wanted to take revenge upon our father, but _that_ is a story for another time," he said with a wink. I'd hold him to it—I was mighty curious. "But I've always been Carlisle's second in command, as was the bond between us. We were all each other had."

"You know this kind of makes you the pervy uncle, since Carlisle is like a father to me."

He laughed loudly and suddenly, drawing patrons' gazes to our back table. We didn't speak again until he quieted down and everyone went about their business again.

"I think perhaps you should consider him a mentor instead of a father now. Otherwise it seems creepy, you're right."

I smiled lightly at him and his smile faded as he stroked my face tenderly, a solemn expression on his face.

"But he's never been the same since he lost his mate, Esme."

"I wish I could have met her," I said quietly.

"You would have loved her, Bella, I promise you. She was the kindest woman I've ever met, and so caring. She was perfect for him, really."

"I'm sorry he lost her."

"As am I. He wasn't fit to lead for a couple years and I took over the handling of Coven business for him. I've always been his second in command, Bella. _Never_ anyone else."

I nodded. I now could comprehend why he'd always been so pissed off when anyone had implied that anyone other than him would take over Carlisle's Leadership. No wonder he fought without mercy during Carnival. He had a lot of years worth of devotion to prove.

"And he offered the Leadership over to me, but I wasn't sure if I wanted it. I was afraid of losing a mate as he did and I already had Tanya's death on my teeth. I didn't want just anyone to win the place by my side at Carnival. I couldn't accept his offer at that time."

"Is this where I tie in?" I asked, stroking his face as he'd done to me a moment before.

"Yes. It was only a couple _days_ later that I saw you in the theater, as if fate were trying to intercede on my behalf. And you had the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen."

I looked down, flattered.

"Yes. That one right there," he grinned, fingering my lips. I peered at him through my lashes, actually feeling shy. "I knew that I wanted you and I figured that if I didn't succeed in changing you, then it was no harm done. I convinced myself that I only had a physical attraction to you, rather than already having fallen for your brazen attitude and sultry grins."

"Until we ruined each other's plans," I continued for him, knowing where this was headed.

"Indeed. You didn't end up as my mate after that and I couldn't accept the role I was meant to. Carlisle was disappointed, needless to say. He had to work so hard just to function those first few years after you were turned, when I couldn't handle the Leadership, either."

"It was hard losing me," I guessed and he nodded. "But Carlisle was able to continue with his duties because he knew how you felt and as your brother he wanted to help and protect you."

"Exactly. So he forced himself out of his early retirement until I could find a suitable mate."

"But he didn't fight in Carnival last year. That was intentional, wasn't it?"

Edward chuckled. "You're very intuitive, my love." I wasn't sure I was comfortable with the nickname, yet. "He did it to cause controversy and it worked. The Elders knew that I wouldn't fight for the position without a clear choice in mind for my mate, so they decided on alternatives. Jasper was high on the list, as he'd been living with Carlisle for so long as well. Emmett, for his brute strength. But Carlisle only did it to push me out of the hole I was living in. I knew all along that he wouldn't want any one else looking after his Coven except me. We built all of this together. We had thrones of the Volturi together, for fuck's sake, so of course I was going to lead."

My eyes widened. I only knew that Carlisle had been friends with the Volturi leaders, not that he'd actually had a place among them once upon a time. Or that Edward had even been alive during that time. I was impressed.

"He had it all orchestrated from the beginning, the sly bastard," Edward said, affection for his brother in his voice. "Raise suspicion to piss me off. Move you out of the main house so that I'll feel more protective of you without being able to keep a constant eye on you and so you'd be less likely to land in another vampire's bed."

I coughed uncomfortably at the truth in that statement. I admittedly only succumbed every couple decades, but it was bound to happen eventually.

"All of this just to get my ass going. To get me to try to win you back. He gave me a hundred and twenty years, had countless discussions with me, told me hundreds of times how much better life would be if I let you into mine... And he was tired of waiting for his retirement. We moved to this shitty, poisonous, dog-infested town of Forks just because it had a crappy house that wouldn't fit all of the families and had a lot of forest. So that I could win you and your affections in the end."

"Technically, I won you, not the other way around."

He laughed. "True. You certainly won your place and proved your worth. I hadn't seen carnage like that since the southern vampire wars and you're only one person. I'm glad I never truly got on your bad side."

"Oh, you did. But I'm a peaceful person. I just couldn't stand Renee being threatened like that." It felt like a lie, even though it was the truth. Part of it.

Edward eyed me seriously, understanding the truth behind my eyes. "Say it, Bella," he urged softly. "Out loud."

"And I figured that no one else should be with you. You changed me. Made me what I am. I tried to hide the truth from myself, but deep inside I wanted you... even if I only wanted you deep inside." I ended in a terribly dirty pun, but I said it nonetheless. I fought for him and fought so viciously so no one else would have him. Let him enjoy his success in taming my shrew-like nature.

He grinned widely. "Thank you."

"I wanted _you,_ Edward. The you I met at the theater all those years ago. The one who asked me if I wanted more instead of taking it, the one who dressed me so carefully and touched me so delicately, and cleaned the blood off my body after my first kill. _That_ was the Edward I fought for and I hoped that I'd catch glimpses of him in the Edward that I had been presented with recently if I was forced to be your mate. I was banned from having Jake and the only other person I ever really wanted was you. The first you. I thought it would be worth all the asshole remarks and actions I'd have to put up with if I could see _that_ Edward every once in a while."

"I'm sorry that I haven't been all I should have been to you these last couple months. Decades. Truly."

I nodded in acceptance. "And _that_ Edward appeared the second the fight was over. You clothed me again. You showed it to me in your promise before the fight and I knew I was getting my hopes up to see you again so soon, but there you were... wrapping the shirt off your own back around me. I didn't know what to think, so I—"

"You went to where you thought you could control the environment."

I nodded.

"But you couldn't. Jacob disappointed you that night, Bella. I didn't. And I'd like to think that I haven't since."

"No, you've done anything but that. I'm grateful."

"There is no second Edward, Bella. This has been me all along, even if I was taking my aggression out in the wrong place."

I nodded thoughtfully. Could I do this?

"You have no future with Jacob Black, my Bella. Will you accept one with me?"

I sat still, thinking over my lack of options.

"I promise to treat you fairly, to worship the ground you walk on, and to never push you into something you're not ready for. I'll wait an eternity for you to be ready to be with me. I just want you to promise that you'll try your best to want no one but me in return, as you're all I've thought about for the last hundred and twenty years."

I could accept those terms.

I nodded infinitesimally, leaning in to kiss his lips softly. I was shocked at the feeling it produced within me.

Heat.

_Real heat_ flowed out from where we touched, spreading through my limbs and seeming to circle around where my heart was located. I instinctively recognized the heat for what it was: a true mating.

"Now you see why I was always so upset to see you flirting with other boys," Edward teased, a brilliant glimmer in his eyes. "Such a simple thing, a kiss is..."

"I didn't know it could happen that way," I whispered into his lips, still so near to my own. "I thought you had to, you know, _mate_ with someone for mating to happen."

"No," Edward shook his head. "A mate is more that a partner in those manners. Mating to our kind isn't just finding someone to spend your time with and who you shacked up with. Your mate brings out the best in you, spurs you on to fight your best and think through things logically, and they always hold a place in your heart.

"It's a binding agreement of sorts, made with your mind and emotions together. It's... an _understanding_ between two people. You could have simply held my hand as you made your decision and it would have had the same result."

"Wow," was my only response. No wonder Carlisle always had that sad look in his eyes if he lost this feeling.

"Now you're stuck with me, Bella," he said seriously, looking for my reaction. "We mate for eternity, not just for life. The warmth in my heart will live on as long as you do and it can never be replaced after you're gone."

"You're it for me now," I rephrased, and he nodded. "I can live with that."

"I'm glad," he said, obviously an understatement by the large grin on his face. "Just please don't give out lap dances like candy anymore, alright?"

I laughed. I could bear eternity with Edward, even if I needed to stop teasing all the other boys. Once I was ready, Edward would be enough for me, I knew.

_The End._

* * *

**Tell me what you thought of the ride. Have all your questions and concerns been answered? I love you all for staying with me through my brief (ha!) hiatus, and all the new people as well. I'll see you in my other fics, I hope!**_  
_

**Much Love,  
**

**Muff  
**


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